Badass Space Dragon - Round 6 - A Tiny Problem

…and captained by an avatar of an assstral being of BoingBoing, no lesss. What chance the ressst of ussss?

1 Like

I’m still alive! Yes!

Dr. Esstimpress

1 Like

Well, alrighty then. Hopefully he’s OK somewhere. Maybe he’s in disguise at the Star Bar, sipping whisky. I’ll put my slippers on and go have a look…

1 Like

You have $51975. You were given a gift of $2000 and store credit was a one time thing.

-- SYSTEM NOTE --

If you helped kill Don Mondo, Pete still wants nothing to do with you.

Ella will only deal with government friendlies. That means none of you folks who attacked the coalition.

Neutral ships can shop at either location but are not registered for government programs.

-- SYSTEM NOTE --

Scrapyard Pete's Secret Workshop

>Of course I have a secret workshop inside a hollerd out asteroid! You thought I was gonna just sit back and get picked apart by coalition stooges?! *Nope*. My buddies PingPing and Freddie from the Hobar, bless 'em, found this place when they were haulin' for the miners.
I told you we had problems without Mondo to hold 'em back, now we've got Coalition ships crawlin' right up our cloacae
Listen, I realize it's complicated out there but if we don't want the guts ripped out of Charybdis, we've gotta swamp out these stooges and revenuers. Now let me fix up that junker so you can go cause some more trouble!

Note - Coalition stooges do not know about this secret asteroid and are not welcome.

Rot-Gut - Not much left. It smells like a sock and tastes like a toe… but it’s got a helluva kick!
- $200/Jug
- $1500/Cask

Hull Repairs - I’ll fix you up!
- $100/HP

Hull Density Adjustment - Increases MAX HP.
- $500/HP

Zot Guns (+5 FP) - I call them zot guns because they make this great electrical sound right before they fire… zzZot!
- $5,000

Scramblers (+5 ST) - These little guys send out all kinds of encrypted noise. Mostly porn. It takes forever to unscramble …and it distracts the enemy!
- $5,000

~ Miner’s Hard Hat ~ (+2 GRIT) - These beauties have a lamp built into them!
- $10,000 (limit one) -

Ella's Backwater Botique

Greetings. I am Ella, the owner and operator of Ella's Backwater Botique. Located on the beautiful ocean planet of Alador, we carry unique handcrafted weapons and high quality electronics. If you grow weary of roughneck traders and inflated prices, please consider shopping with Ella. Civilization in the rough.
***Coalition Contractor: We Reserve the Right to Refuse Service to Thugs, Brutes, and Scoundrels.***
**~Affordable Repair Act~** (+50 HP) - A generous hull repair program for those ships who participate in Coalition approved missions. *- FREE -*
**~Hull Repairs~** (+1 HP) - The very best hull repairs, using 100% recycled materials and completely coalition compliant materials. *- $500/ea -*
**~Hull Density Adjustment~** (+1 MAX HP) - Strengthen your hull for life with our hull-istic improvement process. *- $2500/ea -*
**~Homing Missiles~** (+1 FP) - Track down terrorists with the press of a button. *- $1500/ea -*
**~Flak Bursts~** (+1 SH) - A beautiful shower of objects with varied heat and molecular signatures. *- $1500/ea -*
**~Glorious Gadgets, Gizmos and Gewgaws~** (+1 EN) - Parts of all sorts! *- $1500/ea -*
**~Nightshade~** (+1 ST) - Hull paint with embedded pattern replication filaments for cloaking. Defaults to a handsome charcoal black. *- $1500/ea -*
**~Clover Soup~** (+1 LK) - Delicious organic soup made from four leaf clovers and rabbit feet. *- $1500/ea -*
**~ Hat ~** (+2 GRIT) - We carry hats of all sorts, Pork Pies have been popular lately. We no longer carry the Bicorne De Marine. That evil lizard ruined them for all of us. *- $10,000 (limit one) -*
**~Flowers~** - These would look very nice on your ship. Do you have any plants? *- $50/boquet -*
**~Cat Food~** - The fancy kind. A delightful treat for cats or Space Lizards. *- $50/can -*

Today's Missions - A Tiny Problem

Mission 1 - A Tiny Problem

Parvos Perfide, known as "Tiny" among Don Mondo's crew, is a loyal lizard and hungry for revenge. He's actively hunting down Captain Pedge of the Quisquiliae sStruem, the ship that took out Mondo.
There's an 80% chance that Tiny will track down Captain Pedge this turn, a 100% chance if he gets help from other captains. If you want to stop Tiny, you can sign onto this mission and help defend Pedge.

Mission Cost: $500 (Food & Supplies)
Restrictions: This mission is open to any ship.
Reward: Whatever Pedge pays you, Salvage Rights, +2 GRIT
Risks: Tiny is pissed.

**Ship** **HP** **FP** **SH** **EN** **ST** **LK** **GRIT**
Talionis 400/400 90 90 90 90 90 55

Mission 2 - A Tiny Favor

An eye for an eye. Join Tiny in seeking revenge against Captain Pedge. Avenge Don Mondo!!
If you help Tiny, there's a 100% chance of tracking down Pedge and you get to join in the battle on Tiny's side.
**Mission Cost:** $500 (Food & Supplies) **Restrictions:** None **Reward:** $50,000 split up between helpers, Salvage Rights, +2 GRIT **Risks:** *Captain Pedge* of the *Quisquiliae sStruem*

Mission 3 - The Warship, Scylla

The coalition has launched the warship, Scylla, to escort a small fleet of private and scientific vessels into Charybdis. We know a bit about the Scylla, she has a fleet of at least fifty small fighters and top of the line weaponry, but we know nothing about these other ships. Reconnaissance is requested by the outlaws and from the looks of things, the resistance will need to grudgingly contract with a "Coalition Stooge."

Mission Cost: $1000 (Food & Supplies)
Restrictions: None (although very difficult for non-ICUP ships)
Reward: $5,000, +1 GRIT, Access to Pete’s Shop
Risks: Scout Drones, Fleet Scramble, Matter Disruptor Ray

Coalition Stooges
40% - ONE Nosy Drone, lose HP (1-10 HP based on FP & SH)

Neutral or Outlaws
50% - Matter Disruptor Ray, lose HP (100-150 HP based on FP & SH)
20% - Swarm of TWO HUNDRED Drones, lose HP (1-10 HP based on FP & SH)
80% - Fleet of FIFTY small fighters, lose HP (30-60 HP based on FP & SH)
Calculated on a per item basis. For example, each missile has a 10% chance of hitting for 10-20HP

Mission 4 - Space Cadet

The handsome star of stage and holo-screen, Brad Nebula, has come to Charybdis to work with the orphans and under-privileged sandfish gutters. Your job is to keep this fool alive as he traipses about the galaxy.

Mission Cost: $500 (Food &Supplies)
Reward: $60,000, +3 GRIT
Risks: Space Scum

**Ship** **HP** **FP** **SH** **EN** **ST** **LK** **GRIT**
Space Scum 75-150 20-40 20-40 20-40 20-40 20-40 20-40
**Note - This fight is not a pig pile mission, you will be flying solo.**

**Sit out this round -5 GRIT**
**Round 6 ends Thursday, October 3rd at 11pm (PST)**
Questions? Comments? Post them in the [Rules & Gameplay Thread][1].

Those peerlessly honest circuits at Endogenic Escrow haven’t refunded my $1,000, so they don’t think he’s dead or in Coalition custody…

update -the posts went up simultaneously. Pete is fine. I am informing Endogenic Escrow to release the $1,000 to whome ever Pete thinks deserves it – including himself.

2 Likes

The engines of the Burnt Asbestos are humming and the floors were freshly-waxed by 6:00 AM. I know I’m not going to over-sleep this time.

Having wandered around Charybdis while trying to keep my head out of trouble during many of the last missions, I feel like I know the place pretty well. If anyone’s got to be a tour-guide to a pretty-boy, it looks like it should be me. I’ll take Mission 4.

Gotta upgrade to fight Space Scum, though. Shopping at Pete’s:

Starting cash: $50,074
5 x Zot Guns: -$25,000
1 x Scramblers: -$5000
19 x Hull Density Adjustment: -$9,500
15 x Hull Repairs: -$1500 – (I assume I need both to upgrade to 115 HP, right?)
1 x Miner’s Hard Hat: -$10,000 – it’ll help me see the Space Scum first, I swear!
Mission 4: -$500

Cash remaining: $74. New FP: 39, new ST: 19, new HP: 119, new GRIT: 7

Edit: new values in bold.

1 Like

Misssion 3 ssssoundsss like sssuicssside to me, and the resssissstancssse isss not helped by the eliminassshion of Captain Pedge.

Thisss lizard leans towards Misssssion 4, but we need to hear the proposssal of the captain of the Quisssquiliae sssSSStruem - however I feel that taking protecsssion money from him isss robbing Peter to pay Paul. Perhapsss he would be bessst rewarded by trusssting to luck and invesssting in lotssss of nightssshade?

Well done to everyone who followed the first rule of space mercantilism: stay alive for your next trade.

Today is another great day. Again, we each decide for ourselves. As I said last round:

“Enjoy Today. Make Money. Stay Alive.”

However, if anyone is considering Mission 2 - A Tiny Favor, please discuss your reasons with us. Even an unflinching killer like Chee Lan doesn’t see the percentage in a cheap hit like that.

My thinking goes beyond that. To decide our future, we need beings who can decide for themselves. Eliminating any such being constrains our future. Destroying the Quisquiliae sStruem murders future possibilty.

Since arbitraging future possibilities is how I make my percentage, I am putting my starbucks where my communicator is. I have deposited $24,000 starbucks with Endogenic Escrow, with instructions to **pay $4,000 immediately **, (i.e. before the mission) to the first six captains that sign on for ** Mission 1- A Tiny Problem ** . The Quisquiliae sStruem is currently the richest ship around, so hopefully Captain Pedge will sweeten the pot.

Recalling how the I.C.U.P. treated it’s “side” in the last round of missions, I love the idea of captains who the I.C.U.P thinks they own choosing Mission 3 - The Warship, Scylla. We need good intelligence. Even more, we need Pete to get past his grieving for his beloved scrapyard and focus his feelings on the I.C.U.P. The more “ICUP” ships that show up at his new digs, the better. If you are considering this mission but are short on cash. please contact me: I may help pay for your costs .

1 Like

Out of Character: Minor clerical errors, my LK should be 20 because of the clover soup, and I should have earned 20k and 2 grit, because I took Mission 3 :wink:


-$500 | Mission 1 Supplies.
$0, +50 Hp | Affordable Repair Act
-$7500, +5 FP | x5 Homing Missiles
-$6000, +4 EN | x4 Glorious Gadgets, Gizmos and Gewgaws
-$10500, +7 LK | x7 Clover Soup

Additionally if the 4K escrow clears.
-$4500, +3 LK | x3 Clover Soup

(after all this, I’m left with 6 starbucks)

1 Like

"I’ll take the 4K Sir, we want to pack some extra punch for this mission.

I also want to let you know that According to our CTO calculations, we’ll only need 2 more ships to join the battle, 3 to make it safe, unless we face unexpected opposition."

I think I’m supposed to have 69HP, correct?

Huh, huh, 69.

1 Like

Quessstions mussst be asssked.

Why isss the Coalisssion offering no bounty on Tiny?

And what of Pete? He hasss an underssstandable antipathy towardsss Pedge. How clossse isss he to Tiny? Will usss outlawsss find ourssselvesss frozsssen out of repairsss?

We ssshould keep a close eye on the Ssscylla. Ssshe isss a threat to all of usss. We don’t want to find ourssselvesss caught between Ssscylla and Charybdisss.

1 Like

Oh.

Bollocks.

4 Likes

Archive Ministry Record: 25402WE09-L
Ship: Grey Mouser
Captain: Lord Fritz

All hail the Supreme Intelligence! Operation “Same Shit, Different Day I” was a boring success. As we calculated, our mission was low risk, and thus we have been compensated for a relatively low reward. I feel we have lost sight of our primary directive: to experience life. Once one acquires all the data in the known universe, and is plugged into every sentient being’s neural network, there isn’t anything else to do besides to go out and experience things. Life isn’t worth living if no one knows you are there. All the known knowns are known, only the unknowns remain to be found. The people of Leiberia are counting on us to fully experience life and to report back those experiences. If we didn’t have that we would probably be hell bent on exterminating inferior species. (Who wants that load of work?)

Ugh. If I had eyes and sinuses, I would be pinching them right now. As predicted things have become complicated. It has disturbed my hibernation cycle. I keep having these weird dreams about electric sheep. The Quisquiliae sStruem has a price on her head from the attack on Don Mondo. Our first two options are to either to join in that attack, or to come to her defense. This is the exact position we were trying to avoid. I believe it was Captain Falkayn who said “Enjoy Today. Make Money. Stay Alive.” That is are good mantra.

We have to choose between a intel job on the ICUP, or baby sitting a movie star. It is extremely tempting to escort Brad Nebula, as the money is very good, and hey, come on, it’s Brad Nebula. But I feel we need to make a political move and escort the Scylla. The reward is paltry, but Pete said he would do business with us if we could provide intel. We despise Ella for her ludicrous price gouging, and Pete I more likely to find “less than legal” arms and equipment. It also allows us to have a finger dipped into each bowl, allowing us to try to adhere to neutrality. So while the reward is much, much less than escorting Brad, dealing with Pete may prove to be an invaluable advantage.

Starting Cash - $10067
Hull repair x50 = Free - hey, I guess the gov. is good for something
Mission 3 - $1000
Ending Cash - $9067 - we are hoping our money will be better spent with Pete next time.

2 Likes

Ship: Nitetimeistheritime (or something) - Dr Esstimpress
Can I do Mission 4?? Rather like the idea of fending Space Scum away from Brad Nebula (whattaname)

You can, but you’re going to get popped faster than a paparazzi’s flashbulb.

If you’d actually like to survive, I would encourage you to take Mission 1. The escrow payment means your expenses are covered and you’ll still have over $4,000 to upgrade your ship. Also, if no one signs up for mission 2 – which is very likely – there is a 20% chance you’ll pass the day unscathed.

Addition: notice that there is also now a $50,000 bonus pool. So Mission 1 looks to be financially rewarding – in addition to have a decent chance of survival.

1 Like

Ok
Right
My initial thought is to offer $50,000 split between anyone who survives (on top of Captain Falkayn’s generous offer) AND a purple pimp hat to whoever gets the kill on Tiny. If I survive this round there is the possibility of further rewards.

1 Like

I can’t imagine that your new hull siding would be installed damaged. And if it was, I’m sure Pete would fix it right up for no charge. Save your $1500 for a cask of rot-gut.

2 Likes