pesco at February 26th, 2014 12:22 — #1
pixleshifter at February 26th, 2014 12:35 — #2
You'd probably need the old testament as well.
spunkytws at February 26th, 2014 12:40 — #3
That reminds me...I really should start carrying a copy of Moby Dick.
gyrofrog at February 26th, 2014 12:58 — #4
the article doesn't state whether it was the hardcover or paperback edition
cowicide at February 26th, 2014 13:00 — #5
God's on Rick's side
Which deity do we thank when smartphones block bullets?
cowicide at February 26th, 2014 13:03 — #6
marya at February 26th, 2014 13:06 — #7
"Book in pocket stops bullets"
eksrae at February 26th, 2014 13:12 — #8
Larry Flynt's ass stopped a bullet; that makes him the Chosen One.
phosphorious at February 26th, 2014 13:18 — #9
samsam at February 26th, 2014 13:22 — #10
Can we also get a post every time a bible fails to stop a bullet?
eksrae at February 26th, 2014 13:39 — #11
I can tell you how many times a Gideon Bible failed to prevent sodomy in a hotel room.
howaboutthis at February 26th, 2014 13:42 — #12
While we're at it, how about a daytime T.V. talk-show interview every time someone isn't helped by an angel, every time God doesn't help people after they pray, and every time Jesus doesn't lead his favorite football team to victory.
It would be a nice change of pace.
brainspore at February 26th, 2014 13:49 — #13
[gunshot, Flanders is knocked down]
Ned Flanders: Whew, good thing I always keep a Bible next to my...
[second gunshot, Flanders is knocked down again]
Ned Flanders: Whew, luckily I was wearing an extra large piece of the True Cross today. I think I'll go inside.
medievalist at February 26th, 2014 13:57 — #14
Hey, you're right!
Bible in pocket stops bullet...
Zippo in pocket stops bullet...
Smartphone in pocket stops bullet...
This is a discovery!
GOD LOVES POCKETSES!
I'm never wearing a pocketless shirt again.
james_robertson at February 26th, 2014 14:09 — #15
Obligatory quote from 'Support Your Local Sheriff':
Jason McCullough: [Fingering dented badge] That must have saved the life of whoever was wearin' it.
Mayor Olly Perkins: Well, it sure would have, if it hadn't been for all them other bullets flyin' in from everywhere.
bearpaw at February 26th, 2014 14:13 — #16
And if the bullet had missed the Bible and killed Mr. Wagoner, at least one person at his funeral would've said something like, "God decided it was time to call him home."
Hey, maybe this is a sign that God wants better gun control laws!
sr105 at February 26th, 2014 14:31 — #17
If God was truly looking out for him, he never would have been attacked in the first place. So apparently God wanted him shot but not dead.
mrtut at February 26th, 2014 14:43 — #18
So if there were a God, she'd probably like the bible less than people. I can live with that.
glitch at February 26th, 2014 14:43 — #19
Have you ever heard of a Quran stopping a bullet? Or a pocket collection of Buddhist Sutras, or the Hindu vedas? I think not!
The evidence is clear - God hates Bibles and those who carry them! Why else would they be such bullet magnets when none of the other holy books are?
jandrese at February 26th, 2014 15:19 — #20
There must be a case of a bullet being stopped by a copy of the Kama Sutra somewhere.
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