Breaking Bad creator: no more tossing pizzas on Walter's house!

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Damn, now I want pizza!

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I hate to be that one guy, but this is the kind of thing that isn’t even funny the first time.

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well, unless you’re the person who threw the pizza, in which case it was funny. Because humor is subjective.

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Now, a calzone on the roof … that’s pure comedy gold!

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I tell ya, that show is full of things not to do. Pizza tossing is the least of the crimes/lessons.

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Plus: calzones are easier to throw.

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If I were the lady, I’d pay Raymond Cruz to wait until they pulled up to the house, then come around the side of the house and just stare at them.

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I was thinking garden hose, but your idea is better

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I’d be more inclined to hire Giancarlo Esposito, and fix a coat rack lined with these along the side of the house:

I wish people would throw pizza at my house!

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Everything is always great until people show up.

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Overcook them for rigidity with and make them boomerang shaped

“Why the bruised forehead?”
“I got a new boomerang and threw away the old one.”

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Maybe easier to throw over the roof, like a football. You’re gonna get a lot of roll-backs, though, before you get the calzone to stick on the roof like that, especially with all the guts showing, like the pizza.

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ALSO NOT COOL:

  • Tossing teddy bear eyes into the backyard swimming pool
  • Putting tracking devices on the owners’ cars
  • Hiring an ex-cop/private eye/fixer to bug the house
  • Sneaking in to hide tiny vials of ricin powder behind the outlet covers and/or spray paint “Heisenberg” on the living room wall
  • Burning down the local industrial laundromat

Someone could lose an eye!

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