I was cleaning my flat, naked, when I sat down unexpectedly on my child porn…
Well if you’ve got a better place to store your child porn, I’d like to hear it.
Well there’s your first problem.
Me? I was cleaning someone else’s flat naked and must have sat down unexpectedly on their child porn.
The cloud, that way nobody knows it’s there! My friend Kim Dotcom told me all about it.
Schoolboy error.
Christ, what an asshole.
If he had just put it in his pocket, I doubt it would have gotten a second look.
It sounds like in this case he had it wedged down between his cheeks rather than way up in his digestive tract. That’s what you get for half-measures.
Funny he doesn’t look like a paedophile
I can always tell by the pixels.
Yeah sticking things up your ass usually draws attention to said thing 
Of course it’s company policy never to imply ownership in the event of a dildo… always use the indefinite article 'a dildo,’ never 'your dildo.’
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