She said she took full responsibility for it.
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Look, Iām going to have to apologize in advance, as I have to drop this conversation - Iām swamped with work, and I have to deal with a family emergencyā¦
Quick points: It happened a few decades ago, in Canada. I donāt remember the details, it might have been small claims court, it might have been exaggerated by my buddyā¦Iām not sure. In any case, my buddy WAS a champion karateka, it happened in/near a cinema lobby andā¦$150 for a gi and belt!? Wha? Man, do you buy your uniforms at the Gap? No more than $100. But I digress.
This BB article was about 63-year-old Chrissy Hynde blaming herself for a rape that occurred when she was 21. I think that she is/was taking responsibility for some of the consequences she endured because of her actions. If you ask me, I say āGood for herā (whether or not sheās wrong), itās empowering.
Iāve never quite understood the notion that a victim of assault always can and must be completely absolved of any responsibility for that assault. While there are many cases of complete innocence, in some instances, the victim can be an idiot, can have ignored all the signs of danger, all the advice of friends.
If, no matter what behaviour the victim exhibited, we must always find them completely faultless, then we also declare them to be little irresponsible children. That they canāt make their own decision and bear the consequences of these decisions.
Again, my apologies, but I have to drop this conversation.
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She swallowed a bunch of Quaaludes and then went to hang out in a biker bar with the Hellās Angels.
I think the lesson here is (1) the crime is solely the responsibility of the criminal and (2) there are things you can do, or stupid things you cannot do, to make yourself a whole lot less likely to be a victim. And if you do something stupid, youāre responsible for the stupid.
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If you quote selectively you can prove any point.
She also says āIf Iām walking around and Iām very modestly dressed and Iām keeping to myself and someone attacks me, then Iād say thatās his fault.āBut if Iām putting it about and being provocative, then you are enticing someone whoās already unhinged ā donāt do that. Come on! Thatās just common sense.ā
Leaving aside the comment about dress, because there is plenty of scientific evidence that plays no role in sexual assaults, this is clearly a statement that you should not put yourself in a stupid place where you increase your likelihood of being a victim. It would be just as true about armed robbery as about rape, but would not have stirred up nearly the firestorm.
Men can wear whatever they want, with little fear of rape.
Men can drink as much as they want, with little fear of rape.
Men can party with whatever bikers they want, with little fear of rape.
Men can do as many Quaaludes as much as the want, with little fear of rape.
Women who try to act like men get called āstupid.ā Repeatedly. Incessantly.
This is what double-standards look like - defended as ājust common sense.ā
This is what rape culture looks like - resignation that since some men will never change all women should know better.
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Yes, because in armed robbery, the victim generally isnāt blamed.
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āIāve never quite understood the notion that a victim of assault always can and must be completely absolved of any responsibility for that assaultā
Totally. Rape victims really need to pull themselves up from their bootstraps. High-five!
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Well, you knowā¦ we walk around with those vaginas and boobsā¦ how dare we.
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PERSONAL RESPONSIBILITY!
Is what is required.
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Well, I think weāre done here, because you just selectively quoted the exact same thing I did, taking out the part where she says āWho elseās fault can it be?ā. So, Iām pretty sure weāre just arguing past each other here. Yes, obviously sheās also saying āHey, donāt be stupid and put yourself into risky situationsāā¦ The problem is that the other part of what sheās saying is āItās your fault if you get rapedā. Period. If she had left out that part, nobody would have a problem here.
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Donāt want to be raped: donāt leave your home, donāt live alone, donāt live with roommates, donāt be around family members alone, donāt go to school, donāt go to work, donāt wear tight pants, donāt wear loose clothes, donāt go to parties, donāt walk alone, donāt walk with only one person with you, donāt walk at night, never jog, donāt wear make up, donāt wear pony tails, donāt be a child, donāt go to jail, donāt be mentally illā¦ did I miss any?
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I sure hope you mean the general āyouā, because that simply doesnāt apply to me - and believe it or not, a lot of others out there.
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You missed ādonāt be a womanā.
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I didnāt actually, I left it out on purpose, because as the MRAs like to scream at us, men get raped too. As do children. So I left out gender so as to avoid being called āsexistā. 
But you are right, being a woman (born or otherwise) predisposes us to more sexual assault than not being born female. Obviously we need to evolve to a genderless species that mates asexually, like earth worms.
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I was actually going to add in āWell, I guess men get raped tooā - but realized that it was a stupid thing to say, because duh.
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Iām discussing the rationalizations required for someone to want to accept societyās demands that they ātake responsibility forā their own rape.
It is not the preferable end, but people get by however they feel they must 
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If you walk into a bad neighborhood alone, flashing a lot of cash around, yes, you should be blamed. And in fact you would be.
In neither case does that absolve the criminal of responsibility for their crime. But in both cases, the event was partially caused by something the victim did that was stupid. When you engage in risky behavior, you do have to bear some responsibility for the consequences.
What people are trying to do is cast this as a dichotomous choice: either the victim is blameless and the criminal is not, or the criminal is blameless and the victim is not. That is a bullshit straw man argument. As with any other social interaction, and crime is a social interaction, there is a continuum of contributing factors. Among them are the things you could have done to not be in that situation in the first place.
That point of view is what is advocated by some of these female writers:
This is what rape culture looks like
No it isnāt.
In feminist theory, rape culture is a setting in which rape is pervasive and normalized due to societal attitudes about gender and sexuality. (Wikipedia)
The fact that men generally donāt get raped has nothing to do with rape being pervasive in a culture.
This is what living in a world not made of clones looks like, and it implies that every person has a responsibility to not engage in risky behavior. If a man downs a bunch of Quaaludes, staggers into a biker bar, and a Hellās Angel beats the shit out of him, thatās not rape but still he shouldnāt have done that.
No, itās the criminals fault for committing the crime. Rape is the fault of the rapist. Full stop.
Also, dudeā¦ Daily Fail there. Really? Not exactly a paper known for itās objectivity and respect for women.
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