The DOJ may not think there is a First Amendment right, but their opinion is not very important. They doesn’t interpret the constitution - the courts do, so the judges win this one easily, unless the DOJ is willing to defy the courts. They can drag out the appeals a good long time, but I doubt they will defy the SCOTUS.
Or will they? It doesn’t seem to bother the NSA.
Did you know if you defy Scalia he turns into Smaug and burns your grandparents village down? And if you defy Thomas he turns into… Thomas and sits quietly while listening?
Oh, and Smaugscalia doesn’t even take the gold. He does it on principle.
Roberts on the other hand somehow always magically has a polo on under his robe, and will offer you lemonade then proceed to be passive aggressive about the merits of lacrosse vs. bob sledding.
If you defy Kennedy, he turns into the angel of death, but only ever points a quivering finger in your direction while whispering, “yoooouuu…”
If you defy Ginsburg she turns into the hulk, but surprisingly she isn’t full if rage, but of sarcasm. And oddly, she speaks with a badly affected new Jersey accent.
If you defy breyer–and this happens every, damn, time–he straps on a jetpack while scream-crying, “I NEED ICE CREAM!!!”. It make no sense at all.
If you defy alito, he calmly removes his dentures, and does an impression of that acid Dino from Jurassic park. But no acid emerges.
If you defy sotomayor, she rips off the sleeves of her judicial robe revealing powerful and magnificent biceps and triceps. She challenges you to arm wrestle, which you are legally obligated to do!
She has never lost.
If you defy kagan, she slowly tips her head forward into her hands. Her eyes turn pure white as she psychicly blasts everyone in the room except the court artist. This is how we have proof.
^ I’ll have what he’s having.
Don’t even get me started on the ninth and seventh circuits courts. That shit gets real.
The DOJ has adopted The Animal Farm approach to government: All branches are equal, but some branches are more equal than others.
And that’s a thread everybody, go home to your families, we’ll see you in the A.M.
Watch out for the Special Branch!
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