Friday Cat Fight

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I had a cat when I was a kid who came home weekly with infected battle wounds. But for normal cats, it’s all psyops. “The supreme art of war is to subdue the enemy without fighting.”

Also, I am perplexed by the video format. Why is it wider than it is tall? Is this some new technology?

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This is the soundtrack to a Saturday morning in the breakfast aisle at the local grocery store…

…a soul-deadened, overworked single mother staring blankly at two different boxes of cereal trying to calculate the better deal in her head because the shelves have been mis-stocked and mis-labeled, and she only has $82.37 left for the rest of the month…

…her two young children howling like banshees over some absurd inanity, squaring off at each other from atop their respective thrones of discount single ply toilet paper and a ten pound bag of white potatoes in the basket of the broken-wheeled shopping cart that veers eternally to the left, squeeking and shuddering with every breath of motion…

…the lingering static of the store PA system broken by the crackling, repeated, mumbled utterance of “Assistant Manager to the Service Counter… Assistant Manager to the Service Counter”…

…through the endless stream of barcode scanner beeps, muffled coughs, crinkling plastic bags, and shambling metal trolleys, a pair of sharp reports carry through the sliding entrance doors from the parking lot… no one is certain if they were gunshots or the sound of a car backfiring… no one finds the spirit to care either way…

…

Sorry, I went somewhere dark there for a little bit… what was I doing before I watched that?

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You mean taller than wide? Looks like a video taken with a phone, then cropped to fit the standard ratio.

Oh thank goodness. I was afraid somebody had invented landscape mode.

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I had to watch 2:40 of smack talk just to get to the two swats with the paws? That ain’t no fight…

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Right… pussies!

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Cats of Kilkenny they are not. That’s not a fight. It’s an argument.

The swatting at the end was just to show they aren’t pussies.

Stop Fighting NOW
…
…
…
Stop Writing NOW

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I could only watch till the halfway point. That gray tabby is in some serious discomfort, perhaps even pain. I suspect a hairball, but it sounds like it could be much worse.

You call that a fight? When our cats fight, it looks like lions catching preys. They go for the jugulars.

I think the gray tabby might have been experiencing constipation. It appears to overcome it a little less than two minutes in. I’m also a bit ashamed to have noticed that.

That’s not constipation. Those are testicles. That is what a well-endowed cat looks like. I know because last week I trapped one of the feral cats around my home and got him fixed. Two fuzzy little orange balls, now gone. Vaccinated him as well and had an infected wound on his back fixed and a healthy shot of antibiotics. Cost a bit, yet I hope it prevents future kittens and a healthier neighborhood. Looks like your typical male cat territory fight.

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Yup, thems is balls.

Regarding the noise the grey one makes: When my loner-cat (a spayed female, fwiw) believes that another cat is encroaching her territory, she makes a vocalization very similar to the one she makes when she’s getting ready to barf. I hypothesize it’s a cattish way to signal that something’s unright with the world.

You are a hero, fer realsies. Trap Spay/Neuter Vaccinate Release programs are so good for the quality of life for those semi-ferals and ferals.

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I hope Xeni has a good laugh thinking about those of us who actually sit through the video, which is curious yet absurd.

Xeni = Germany
Me = Brazil
(Cat playing with mouse)

Well, I just fell down a rabbit hole of angry cat videos.

Here’s a video of some lumberjacks rescuing a black bear with its head stuck in a milk can: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Wu6nKXcsf7g

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"Yes, we’re going to have sex, but I’m not taking any shit from you, just so you know! Yeah, I know, it’s a game – but we have to play it, b/c genetics.

Sheesh, the things I have to do for a piece of ass! Why can’t we just have some catnip and throw down?"

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No physical fights?

#notallcats

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