Golf course home to mighty gators

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That’s no alligator. It’s a space station.

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This brings to mind a joke from back when Izod shirts were popular. An alligator who lives peacefully on a golf course dies and goes to Heaven. St. Peter shows him around and says, “Because you were so good you can have anything you’d like.” The gator says, “Well, I’ve always wanted to play golf.” St. Peter says, “Oh, we have all kinds of golf courses here. Take your pick.” The gator says, “Great! Can you make it so I can stand up to hold a club properly?” “Of course! And you can have a set of clubs of your very own.” The gator is overwhelmed. “This is so amazing…there’s just one more thing I’d like…could I have a shirt with a little man on it?”

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We also have a golf course in Rio. But the alligators are living in other part of town. Skip to 1:24 to see the big reptiles gathering in a mangrove, waiting for the people who will feed them.

The biologist interviewed in this video said they aren’t dangerous and won’t attack people. But in the other hand, the dogs must pay attention to the dark waters.

So if the gator eats the ball, what’s the penalty on that?

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Wouldn’t it be a standard Mulligan?

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Just glad they leave these creatures alone. Too many knuckleheads finding pleasure in murdering them.

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Not really sure. I don’t play golf so I don’t know the rules that well outside of hit ball down course, get ball in hole.

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Yeah, I hear ya. I’ll only play in scramble format because any other way completely sucks. And much like Happy, I’m considerably happier at the ice arena scrimmaging with ma peeps.

Not me. I’d rather the golf course, and in fact, all golf courses, require that all golfers pet the nearest gator on the head to show that they have respect for the course being played. That would make golf, and golfers, all the more easy for me to accept.

Unless it’s charging you, you shouldn’t have anything to worry about. To be honest, if you don’t know enough to stay away from a animal with sharp teeth, then maybe you need to be removed from the gene pool anyhow.

Replace the water hazards and sand traps with “pat the gators on the head” and I might actually watch golf. It sure would be a lot more exciting that way.

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Maybe they could call it “Extreme Golf”.

My grandpa was an avid golfer, but even he would turn golf on the TV if he was interested in taking a nap.

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Regardless of how peaceful it’s been over the years, I’ll still exchange one of my 14 clubs for a 12-gauge.

True story: I went to play golf in Thailand once and a wild dog stole my ball from the green.

Exploding tees are allowed under club rules.

We’ve also got bull sharks in the water hazards of my local course.

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I suppose this is the closest that rich old white men get to natural selection.

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I used to live in Englewood and am going to be back there in April for a couple of weeks. If I see the gator I’ll say “hi” for everyone.

Hmmmm, when I last played golf, we were supposed to get the ball in the gator’s mouth.

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