Hungry man defeats TSA's war on peanut butter by spreading it on crackers

My MIL had a similar incident boarding with bread and egg salad in a container. All was good after she spread the egg salad on the bread, before that it was a deadly hazard. So clearly, there’ll soon be a burgeoning terrorist market for spreadable explosives, and we’ll all have dry bread and crackers or the terrorists win.

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Well, since you mention it, if field conditions don’t allow you to fully mix your binary explosive, you could probably do a lot worse than having the high-viscosity liquid-phase component spread neatly over the solid phase component, like delicious peanut-butter crackers, only more terrifying.

A man’s body is his own. His water threatens the tribe.

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Couldn’t it be argued that peanut butter is a kind of plasma and thereby, strictly speaking, not a liquid?

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Hm. Witchcraft on airplanes. Maybe I will the next time I get suckered into an airplane for work travel.

I’ve been doing the 2-liquid mix for years without problem: peanut butter + honey. Alone, each is dangerous. Together, in a really fat sandwich, they are also dangerous, but only to my personal health.

My favorite experience: a helpful Regina, SK airline security agent that poured the juice out of my pickled herring, right where it would spice up the security area all day, so I could take the fish onto the plane!

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Just for the sake of clarity, LHA is Lahr Airport in Germany. The code for LaGuardia is LGA. :stuck_out_tongue:

Typo, I know, but no one else mentioned it yet and it’s still in the body as of this posting. :wink:

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I’m just waiting for some crazy to come up with a liquid that reacts explosively with stomach acid.

Raw sauerkraut juice. The effect is almost instant, it lasts for hours, and the volume of gas is impressive.

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My daughter and I flew on a rather long flight in the USA last summer with a stopover during which we didn’t leave the plane. So that we would have something to eat on the flight, I filled one of our carry-on bags with snacks, including about 8 individually-packaged 1.5 ounce cups of peanut butter in my 1 quart liquids bag. My husband was worried that the TSA would find my seemingly excessive supply of snacks confusing and strange. If questioned, I planned to answer “I get hungry”. Fortunately, the TSA at my departure airport didn’t seem to care.

Terror crackers with terror butter.

If it had been terror butter he could have got on the plane and scraped it back into the terror butter jar and made a butter bomb.

Moronic TSA policy.

BUT if I may kind of hijack (lol) the topic here, I’ve often wondered about this quote, from the movie “The Ghost Writer” :

I’d like to set up two lines at every airport. In one line, you can walk up, check in, no questions asked, no security checks and board your plane. In another, you’ll first deal with all the precautions we’ve taken based on information we’ve gathered, yes, some of it through torture, and I’d like to see which line [Mr Irritating, Politically Correct, Constitution-Observing, Law-Abiding Ex-Foreign Minister] would choose before he puts his kids on a plane.

I’m not sure how I would answer someone who told me that. Of course, it’s an “appeal to ridicule” argument, but still, I think it’s effective.

What do you guys think ?

I think given the current status of reinforced doors and the fact that all passengers on the former would react suspiciously towards anyone they deemed harmful to their safety that I’d be fine with the former.

There was a long time in the aviation industry where during a hijacking you were supposed to sit quietly, let them fly you to Cuba, and then the airline or government would get everyone home safely. Terrorists got to get free airline miles and attention without much harm.

September 11th changed all that and made passengers realize that terrorists would just as likely crash the plane into a building and kill everyone anyway, might as well just limit the damage and take your chances of ten guys versus two hundred and actually have a chance of getting out of this.

However, given the fact that we will never, ever, ever get back to that point (excepting the case of private aircraft, which have so much leeway), this is a ridiculous question.

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Not sure TSA cares so very much about people. They’re more about aircraft and buildings. But I’m just a foreigner. What do I know?

Please follow me, you have been selected for a random search.

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