A wave and a particle were walking side by side.
One turned to the other and said “Which one of us am I?”
Not mine. Comes from the only bluegrass song ever written about Albert Einstein, quantum mechanics, and relativity, by Henry Jankeiwicz:
http://www.bluegrassnet.com/lyrics/einstein-the-genius-theory-of-relativity
“Two neutrinos walk through a bar…” -
Two men walk into a bar.
The first says to the bartender: “I’d like a glass of H2O.”
The second says: “I’d like a glass of H2O, too.”
The second man dies.
There are 10 types of people in this world: people who understand binary, people who don’t, and people who understand ternary.
Q: What does the “B” in Benoit B. Mandelbrot stand for?
A: Benoit B. Mandelbrot.
Oh.
My.
Dobbs.
I have a new favourite joke! I felt compelled to spend a couple of hours chucking this together to commemorate it.
Damn it. I had things to do today.
It’s there.
He: You look familiar. Didn’t I meet you in Zanzibar?
She: No, I’ve never been to Zanzibar.
He: Neither have I. It must’ve been two other people.
Teacher: Karen, what is H2SO4?
Karen: umm, it’s on the tip of my tongue…
Teacher: Good god! Spit it out! It’s sulphuric acid!
Is it solipsistic in here, or is it just me?
Ah, but you forgot those who understand quarternary, so there are in fact 10 types of people in this world.
My sister, a HS Freshman math teacher, tried to cheer up her very first class, who had just all gotten a zero on their first quiz, by telling them the (apocryphal) story about Einstein himself having been a poor math student. A hand went up in the back. “Teacher, if he was so dumb in school and all…how come they called him Einstein?” She opened her mouth…after awhile the bell rang and the students all left…an hour after that she closed her mouth and went home, but she never did come up with a satisfactory answer to the young man’s question.
Heisenberg and Schrödinger are going for a joyride. Then, flashing lights appear in the rear-view mirror, and the two are pulled over by the police. The cop approaches the driver’s side and asks Heisenberg, “Do you know how fast you were going?” “No,” says Heisenberg, “but I know exactly where I am!” Bewildered, the cop asks if he can search the car, and Heisenberg consents. When the cop opens the trunk, a nauseating smell fills the air. “Hey, buddy,” says the cop, “Do you know you’ve got a dead cat in here?” To which Schrödinger says, “Well, I do now!”
Removing your animated gif as it’s a possible seizure trigger. Please don’t do that again.
host it somewhere and link us to it? (with a seizure warning, of course, Antinous)
does imgur do gifs?
It’s funny (no it isn’t) but I don’t think of Scientists as intellectuals. Not that they aren’t of the highest mental faculties and using it for good, but intellectuals tend to be those who appreciate thinking for its own sake, a subset of deep thinkers, if you will.
The Sartre jokes are, QED, intellectual jokes, but the science jokes are not.
Call me a stickler, but don’t call me an intellectual. I have a rolodex for that.
That would be fine. You probably can’t do a ‘mouseover only’ in Discourse.
Hm, any idea how small a gif has to be before it doesn’t matter how flashy it is?
Hm, can’t even post the link without it automatically embedding.
Seizure warning: hxxp://i.imgur.com/AEV1nm7.gif
This link might work.
What do an English professor and a mohel have in common? Their collection of Dickens.
Oh wait, best intellectual jokes. Nevermind.
