KFC sues over 8-legged chicken rumors

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That’s ridiculous. Eight-legged chickens have been extinct since the 16th Century.

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Welp, that puts my intended quip about the reality of eight-legged rats to shame.

Tips hat.

Exeunt.

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People have to be really stupid to believe that. If they have the technology to grow extra limps, they could make far more money growing kidneys and other body parts for transplantation. It would revolutionize what it means to be human. Why would they instead try to kill their customers with fatty food?

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It doesn’t help that their frying process involves an Eight Head Henny Penny. I happened to see the big red poster titled “Preparing the 8 Head Henny Penny” as I went through the drive-through. Kind of made me wonder.

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I hadn’t heard the fried rat rumor before, but I definitely recall hearing the multi-wing, multi-leg rumor at least more than a decade ago. Up until now I would have thought it was at least something they might have managed to accomplish at one point, though never mass-produced.

I’ll tell you what IS true: The sweet/sour sauce is made with plutonium and boogers.

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It’s the old argument of why Lex Luthor and Bond villains do what they do. Being geniuses, they presumably could make a lot more money with less risk by doing something other than holding the world and/or Metropolis hostage for ransom.

The counter argument is that such people are motivated by power and not money.

A super villain motivated only by money would probably cash out at some point. One doesn’t have to look far for real world examples of what super villain retirement would look like.

cough John McAfee cough

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This lawsuit won’t stop dummies from spreading it round Facebook like wildfire though. See also: “KFC is no longer called Kentucky Fried Chicken any more because their meat isn’t chicken, it’s a delicious headless mutant protein monster fed via feeding tube, so legally they can’t call themselves Kentucky Fried Chicken” that I see pop up once a year or so.

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They were considering eight-legged chickens, but no one could catch one.

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The first thing I thought of:

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Back when KFC used to be Kentucky Fried Chicken

While still “KFC”, they seem to be embracing their history, and are using “Kentucky Fried Chicken” in the new commercials, with Darrell Hammond doing a tongue-in-cheek impression of the Colonel.

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They’re dropping the “Kitchen Fresh” angle then? Oh well.

For some reason I still remember the animated Colonel that was featured briefly. I guess that wasn’t working either.

Not sure why you’d jump to that conclusion. The use of their old company name has little to do with what current ad slogan they’re using. There’s no reason they can’t co-exist.

And they also bringing back “Finger lickin’ good!”

That’s right. Team Rocket in Pokemon as well. They seem to have all the money and technology in the world, yet they spent the last 15 years trying to capture that subpar Pikachu from Ash.

There are more than enough legs and wings on a chicken. Nobody would breed and/or engineer them for more bony, low-profit meat.

Now, if there really was a corporate push to mutate the chicken for profit, you’d see absurdly large breasts, not more legs and wings. In fact, if the basic idea of people warping living creatures for KFC’s profits had any validity at all, the chickens they use today would have breasts almost twice the size of the chickens they sold in 1936, back when my Grand-dad used to pal around with Harlan Sanders in Kentucky!

Obviously stuff and nonsense, amirite? Obviously the chicken is unchanged over time, and remains exactly as it was on the Ark. Also, dinosaur bones aren’t really from dinosaurs, those are from the enormous pre-deluge chickens.

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I had understood that they were trying to move themselves more towards branding the name as “KFC” and then “Kitchen Fresh” so as to discourage the association with the word “Fried” and its unhealthy connotations. But then, I largely stopped watching fast-food commercials long ago.

They dropped “Fried” and change to KFC about a quarter century ago. You’re a little behind the times.

How many of you are there?

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