Lettuce attack leads to charges

I’m not going to arugala with you any more.

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In my last week of the last year of Junior High I got a lunch suspension… a LUNCH SUSPENSION… for “Throwing lettuce at a classmate” this happened seconds after a hot dog was tossed my way. Nothing happened to the hot dog tossing, lettuce abused victim.

btw true story check my records

makes me wonder if it’s ok to toss meat products but morally disgraceful to indiscriminately toss plant matter.

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This is for you! You earned it!

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I’ll give you eight bucks if you stop.

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Mayo say we cannot tuna blind eye but lettuce hope they shred him his rights.

The defendant’s lawyer has questioned the impartiality of what he described as “a kangarutabaga court”.

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He has promised to launch a more thorough investigation into the matter that will turnip new evidence, saying “This travesty of justice makes my blood run kohlrabi. It’s like the authorities don’t carrot all about the living, breathing, loving human being they’re destroying. We’ll beet this rap.”

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The legal authorities need to learn to distinguish between genuine displays of violence and harmless consensual Cos-play.

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I knew better than to click through to the comments here.
Did it anyway…

Got the pun-ishment I deserved.

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to be fair he was on mesclun at the time. at least the court is a dressing the issue, maybe they’ll just garnish his wages, if not i’m sure he’ll be escaroled before he serves the romainder of his sentence.

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I was gonna hit you all with an iceberg, but I figure we’re better off with mescalun it back a bit, I didn’t want to be too cress.

Seriously though, would it kill New Zealand to make it into the news just once for something that isn’t just utterly ridiculous. We do normal stuff here too! Not just give ourselves stupid names, get unlikely convictions and make Hobbit based sagas…

From Kiwis to Hobbits, if it is small, fuzzy, and awesome, then it is from New Zealand!
- brought to you from the new zealand ministry of travel :slight_smile:

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Last time it was Invercargill too. Clearly this is just the tip of the iceberg.

Vicious.
You hit me with a floret,
You do it every hour,
Cos baby your so vicious.

I hear the screams of the vegetables.

You have the right to Romaine silent!

New Zealand Travel Posters

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Winner.

While tempted just to laugh at this item, the mention of alcohol, violence, and anger management make me sure the lettuce-throwing was just the tip of the iceberg.

Seriously.

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