Minister accuses Satan of spoiling his $65 million dollar private jet fundraiser

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Note the sneaky use of double negative.

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The first I can recall hearing about this guy was his fundraiser; the second was that he was suggesting Pokemon turned children gay. But apparently that was a hoax? (How upsetting, that something so outrageous should derail his campaign for a multimillion dollar private jet.)

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Why are you calling this clown with an honorary degree a doctor?

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Good religious person, here. Pay attention, and you’re not giving him money, you’re giving God money.

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Good taste in planes, mind.

G650s are nice!

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Wouldn’t it be so cool if we had some sort of PokĂ©-ball style storage device with Jesus inside? It’d be the perfect tool for dealing with this sort of situation.

Just give it a toss, shout ‘Magic-Jew, I choose you!’, and let him clean up, old testament style.

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Who is he kidding. . . he needs Satan, otherwise what would he preach against?

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Yay Team Satan!

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But, Jesus bilt my Hot Rod!

Minestry:
Soon I discovered that this rock thing was true
Jerry lee Lewis was the devil
Jesus was an architect previous to his career as a prophet
All of a sudden, I found myself in love with the world
So there was only one thing that I could do
Was ding a ding dang my dang a long ling long

Ding dang a dong bong bing bong
Ticky ticky thought of a gun
Every time I try to do it all now baby
Am I on the run

Why why why why why baby
If it’s so evil then?
Give me my time, with all my power
Give it to me all again (wow)

Ding a ding a dang a dong dong ding dong
Every where I go

Every time you tell me baby
When I settle down
Got to get me a trailer park
And hold my world around
Why why why why?

Ding ding dong dong dong ding dong
Dingy dingy son of a gun
Half my time I tell you baby
Never am I all for sure

Why why why why why baby
Sicky sicky from within
Every time I stick my finger on in ya
You’re a wild wild little town bitch

Now how 'bout ding a dang dong dong dong ling long
Dingy a dingy dong a down

Every time you tell me baby
When I settle down
Got to get me a trailer park
And hold my world around
Why why why why?

In my dang a ding a ding a ding dong
A sticky sticky son of a gun
Ding a danga danga dong dong ding dong
Why why never know

Why why wack a dong a dang ding dong
Then you take it on the bill
Ding dang dong don’t dong
Whoa!

I want to love ya!

Why why why, why why darling
Do you do you tell me to play?
Half the time I talk about it all now baby
You know what I’m talkin’ about I said

Why why why it’ll
Ticky ticky ticky ticky
Son of a gun

Ding ding dong a bong bong bing bong
Ticky ticky thought of a gun

Bing bing bang a bang a bang bing bong bing a bing bang a bong
Binga bing a bang a bong bong bing bong bing banga bong

Bing bing bang a bong bong bing bing binga binga banga bong
Bing bing bang a bang bang bing bong

Aarrrhhhh

Ding dang a dang bong bing bong
Ticky ticky thought of a gun
Every time I try to do it all now baby
Am I on the run

Why why why
It’ll ticky ticky ticky ticky ticky ticky
Dawn of a gun
Bing bing bang a bong a bong bing bang a

Ticky ticky thought of a gun
Bing bip bip a bop bop boom bam
Ticky ticky through the day

If you got a doubt ‘bout baby
The memory is on the bed
Why why why why why
Darlin’ uh it don’t know

When my time is on
Might tell me never do it on his own
If my time was all as is yours
Make me burn a wish

When my time with you is brutish
No I’ll never not ever

Why why why why why why baby heavy hell
Alone and it’s here it’s this thunder
The thunder oh thunder
Oh!

Jesus built my car
It’s a love affair
Mainly Jesus and my hot rod

Yeah, fuck it!
Songwriters: HAYNES/JOURGENSEN

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No youtube?

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You only get to use it once though.

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And I’ll bet it’s entirely true that he never asked for a DIME. He’s not raising money for pregnant women and babies, after all.

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No, sir. That was your boss, denying your request.

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Isn’t anybody with a PhD, honorary or not, entitled to use the title doctor?

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You didn’t expect it to be his fault, did you?

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He doesn’t have a Ph.D, as did Dr. King, or even any sort of advanced degree in Divinity (some which, I trust, are traditionally styled “Doctor”).

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Well, he has an honorary doctorate in theology from Oral Roberts University (apologies if that is somehow different from a PhD, I’m not up on all the lingo of post-graduate stuffs), and he actually apparently has a real doctorate (in “counseling?”) from West Georgia College (now the University of West Georgia), as far as I can tell. So, dislike him as much as we may, he seems to be entitled to the honorific.

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Damn it - stop posting what I was going to post.