doctorow at June 3rd, 2014 21:01 — #1
brainspore at June 3rd, 2014 21:10 — #2
jardine at June 3rd, 2014 21:13 — #3
Damn you. I was looking for one like that.
logruszed at June 3rd, 2014 21:46 — #4
Crap those are low standards. They should at least have some cardio in there. The standard should be something more like a basic military PT standard 2mile run in under 20 minutes at least 50 pushups and as many situps in 2 minutes. I mean superheroes should be better than an average GI but my list puts you about middlin' average for a soldier. The army uses a points system than is easily adapted so someone might suck at running but have awesome power in the upper-body.
If you're going to be a super vigilante then you had best be at least as tough as some fatbody GI.
robotmonkeys at June 3rd, 2014 21:56 — #5
Sure superheros should be at least on par with the average soldier, but what about the average cosplayer? Because, I'm thinking this is the average "super hero":
logruszed at June 3rd, 2014 21:59 — #6
newliminted at June 3rd, 2014 22:45 — #7
patrace at June 3rd, 2014 23:10 — #8
This is the most important thing I pulled out of that article: Rex Velvet!
jeanbaptiste at June 4th, 2014 01:14 — #9
The "read the rest" wound up sounding like something from The Onion. I had to Wiki this to figure out if it was for real or not.
I'm still not sure.
themudshark at June 4th, 2014 04:13 — #10
So basically the requirement is to barely have more control over your body than a sack of potatoes? Seems reasonable.
euansmith at June 4th, 2014 04:32 — #11
euansmith at June 4th, 2014 04:42 — #12
So long Lackadaisical Lass, Kid Apathy and Lazy Bones, the Stupor Hound.
felonmarmer at June 4th, 2014 05:36 — #13
Holy physical jerks Pullup Man, how can we stop these villians?
We have the powet Pushup Boy! Drop and give me five!
...and the city was safe once mote.
eliterrell at June 4th, 2014 07:52 — #14
This is how supervillains are made. Purged heroes are probably building lairs and divvying up nemeses as we speak.
fuzzyfungus at June 4th, 2014 08:12 — #15
I'm pretty sure that Captain Hammer heartily approves of the notion that super-heroism is largely a function of brute strength...
Less unanimity is observed among people familiar with problems that can't be fixed by blunt trauma.
kbert at June 4th, 2014 08:36 — #16
Think of the minions!
jsroberts at June 4th, 2014 09:08 — #17
I'm presuming " lair" is also known as "basement game room" and "nemeses" are some kind of snack.
othermichael at June 4th, 2014 10:45 — #18
Rhete's somering wrong wirh yout keyboard.
felonmarmer at June 4th, 2014 12:06 — #19
Yeth theer is, I am the amazing androif keybrord msn, ready to strije feat into the hearts of sny text based villianary.
halloween_jack_ at June 4th, 2014 16:19 — #20
I think that the real headline should be "Phoenix Jones still taking himself and his 'movement' way more seriously than the evidence would warrant."
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