“A dozen, a gross, and a score,
Plus three times the square root of four,
Divided by seven,
Plus five times eleven,
Is nine squared, and not a bit more.”
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Some of these jokes rely too much on knowledge of science to be considered funny, and I’d say that some of them are really less about laughter and more about feeling smart, although the Mandelbrot one did get a chuckle out of me as redundancy jokes are generally funny.
If you’re not part of the solution, you’re part of the precipitate.
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Two strings walk into a bar. The first string says to the bartender “I’d like a beer, please”. The bartender pours the string a beer. The second string says “I’d like a beer, please53S^@ {agWbc*?’/8`sje3Gioip7”. The bartender looks aghast and the first string replies “please excuse my friend, he’s not null terminated”.
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Many of the esoteric ones are essentially puns in geek:nerd:science-speak… The appropriate response is to smile and back away slowly.
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A professor walks into a bar, say’s to the bartender “I’d like a martinis please”. The bartender asks if he meant a martini. Professor say’s “If I’d wanted two I would have said so”.
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Also, the researchers don’t get as attached to them.
In the audio version of The Feynman Lectures, he tells a joke during class (I’m quoting from memory):
A policeman pulls a car over and walks to the driver’s window. The driver, a blonde, ask the policeman, “What’s the problem, officer?
– You were speeding, ma’am. You were driving 70 miles an hour.
– That’s impossible! I’ve only been driving for fifteen minutes.”
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This is one I tell my students…
What’s the most important rule for working in a chem lab?
Never lick the spoon.
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Wayne and Shuster’s classic Rinse the Blood of my Toga. It’s worth watching the whole thing.
One false move and I’ll fill you full of bronze!
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There are two cats on a steep roof. Which one slides off the roof first?
The one with the smaller mu (μ)
Explanation: the character μ (pronounced mew) represents the coefficient of friction. Har har har.
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“In theory, there’s no difference between theory and practice, but in practice, there is.”
variously attributed to attributed to Jan L. A. van de Snepscheut, Walter J. Savitch, Yogi Berra, and Chuck Reid
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*The surest way to disturb the centre of gravity is by the skilful employment of a good joke.
- Mark Twain*
Blah, blah, blah, joke, joke, joke… and so the physicist says “Let us assume a spherical horse of uniform density, traveling in a vacuum…”
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Would work better if the explanation was a pun.
A mathematician and an engineer are transported to opposite corners of a square room. In the center of the room is Helen of Troy on a bearskin rug. A voice informs them “You may approach the center of the room in steps. Each step must be half the length of the preceding step, and no step may be more than half the total distance.”. The mathematician slumps to the floor in dispair. The engineer starts walking. The mathematician says “You know, you’ll never reach her…” The engineer says, “Well, I can get close enough to grab.”
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A tachyon comes out of a bar.
A tachyon goes into a bar.
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I was looking for his jokes on Heisenberg, couldn’t find them, so I’ll post this one:
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Favorite from High School chemistry:
Alas poor little Johnny,
for he isn’t anymore
'cause what he thought was H2O
was H2SO4
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