Spork multitool

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Oh dear, not another one.

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Hello,

CRKT has another version called the Eat’N Tool XL with additional features such as a bottle opener and can opener.

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If I took that camping it would be a guarantee of WD-40 porridge with a soupçon of diesel-scrambled eggs.

No thanks. Tools in a tool bag; cutlery in a pencil case.

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I am Multi-Spork! Prepare to eat your lithium-greased granola!

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I can just imagine ending up at Accident & Emergency with a Spork attached to my cheek by its bottle-opener.

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Sweet. I have been looking for a tactical spork to add to my EDC.

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But seriously, what bolts could you use those wrenches on where something wouldn’t be in the way?

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It’s cute - but it’'s not the right set of tools for me. If I’m base camping, I can bring in a proper kit of tools, which lives in the back of my car anyway. If I’m actually in the backcountry, I don’t think I’m likely to be carrying anything that’s held together with nuts and bolts, so those hex wrenches and multiple screwdrivers are excess baggage. Spend the titanium on making the handle long enough to reach the bottom of my pot!

Then again, I’m seriously working on reducing pack weight . I’m trying to get to where my summer base weight (exclusive of consumables) is below 7 kg From Skin Out*. Gubbins like this has no place in a lightweight pack.

  • I’m quoting the weight assuming on-trail travel. For a bushwhack, there is another 1.5-2 kg of necessary gear. And forget about lightweight in the winter. My traction gear (snowshoes, crampons, ice axe, poles) outweigh the pack, sleeping bag, sleeping pad and tent that I carry for summer trips.
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Anatomically correct!

maybe trail bikers will find it useful?

How about a spork with just a can opener at the other end?

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That’s a key ring, not a 'biner. Or maybe a Barbie 'biner for Barbie’s Rock Climbing Action Playset.

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If any thing, it will make a nice cock-ring and conversation piece at the “Bear Cave”.

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“Analysis, Mr. Spork?”

I’d presume the target audience is minimalist through-bikers – the folks who trim the load to absolute minimum for multiday bike rides. Food chosen to be as compact and lightweight as possible; sleeping bag ditto; “tent” which is barely enough to be a water/bug barrier for the sleeping bag, etc.

Or folks who just want their multitool to include a spork for silliness’ sake.

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Nailed it.
This thingy is pretty close to useless.

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The XL one looks slightly less horrible.

I have a small multitool that’s supposed to be a prybar, folding XActo knife, bottle opener, screwdriver etc. It’s basically useless except for the XActo part (which is kind of handy; I wish they were all like that.). Whoever heard of a two inch long prybar?

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I carry a plastic spork from Light My Fire when I’m backpacking, and it’s long enough to reach the bottom of the pot. Even it has more features than I need–I’ve never needed the fork on the trail, and the serrated edge on one side of the fork just makes it uncomfortable to hold while stirring.

This CRKT model wouldn’t do me any good. I’m pretty sure it wouldn’t even be long enough to reach the bottom of my lexan cup. And I’ve never needed any of the other items on the trail. And it’s hard to imagine where I would encounter a hex bolt with enough clear space around it to use this spork. The outline of this spork basically forms a triangle, which means there’s always a corner jutting out to stop rotation of the wrench.

CRKT rolls out a lot of designs like this. They’re clever about cramming things into a piece of flat steel, then calling it a multi-tool. The SpareTool is a good example. It includes the ubiquitous hex wrenches and bottle opener, a pry-bar, and a removable screwdriver bit that you use with the hex wrench. But in practice, the screwdriver bit just slides through the hex-hole, so it’s somewhere on the spectrum between tricky and useless. The bottle opener is almost cutting-sharp, and imperils your hand when using the knife blade. The knife-blade is chisel-ground, so it’s good for some tasks but not others. And the pry-bar… I never encountered a task where it was the right solution.

These things are gimmicky enough and cheap enough that people think, “What the heck, I’ll give it a try.” And when they find out that these are useless for almost every task, their low cost makes them easy to set aside. I guess there’s no penalty for flawed design with products like this.

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http://www.crkt.com/multitools in case anyone is curious.

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I have been working on my tool set, and after some consideration, I ended up with a DoohicKey (http://www.amazon.com/Nite-Ize-KMT-11-R3-DoohicKey-Multi-Tool/dp/B00FIX126K). Although the Leatherman Brewzer was a close contender, the lack of attaching carabiner was the deciding point. And for spoon and fork (no integrated or separated knife) I rather use the SeaToSummit spork (http://www.amazon.com/Sea-Summit-Titanium-Spork-Size/dp/B00184N72K) or the aircaft alloy set (http://www.amazon.com/Sea-Summit-Alpha-Utensil-Set/dp/B001PR06X8)

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My full-handled titanium spork weighs almost nothing. And besides, most of the time when I think I’ll need a multitool, I’m already carrying a knife, a hex set and tire levers, none of which come preinstalled on MultiSpork.

You need a proper handle for a table trebuchet and in a pinch I could use it as a stand in for other levers.

Buuu-huuuuuuut, if you could print ID on it, we could have Leeloo Dallas MultiSpork.

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