“Guys, it’s Readers’ Digest. They’re all 120 years old and have no idea what a website is or why they have one.”
BTW: What’s a Reader’s Digest?
their tech support probably hasn’t visited in ages, and when they called him, they got his voicemail. his mother says that he said he had a date on tuesday night and couldn’t make it, sorry, and that he’ll look at it at christmas.
It’s like an early form of Twitter for 120-year-olds. (Short passages only.)
It’s all gone downhill for them since they took the table of contents off the cover.
Who knew they even had a website? I’m shocked that it doesn’t look more like some mid-90s geocities monstrosity.
Fortunately, the visitors to the site are probably protected via the fact that they already have every toolbar and virus known to man using all of their resources… The Mr Burns ÀV defense.
That stack of toolbars that take up a third of the window is always a huge, red flag.
I’ve (mostly) managed to extricate myself from providing that kind of help, but when I do see that red flag, I’m sorely tempted to just wipe the box and install a fresh copy of the OS. It usually takes less time…
I actually saw a toolbar monstrosity with 2" of usable screen IRL for the first time only this year. On an up-to-date win8 machine, even. It also had 6457 individual bits of malware on it according to the AV software report…
Private Smith came home on leave to visit his ailing grandmother. “I’ve got a virus.” she told him. “You’re going to be fine, grandma. You’ve just been reading Reader’s Digest again!”
HUMOR IN UNIFORM
Relax. The kid they have running the site was on Thanksgiving break, probably. He will get to it.
You know that meme where the white haired grandmother is looking over her glasses in confusion at a CRT? This is how I imagine Readers Digest admins trying to decipher the warning emails.
Although I always did like Humor In A Uniform.
Because it was better then the content!!
so much this. i laughed pretty hard. thanks for starting my day with a smile!
collectors, amiright? 
And by kid you mean kid to them, meaning someone in their mid-80’s running this off of their 286.
Poor olds are now all infected…
Glad to see that ageism isn’t out of bounds 
It’s what we used to use to alleviate boredom while on the pot before the invention of the smartphone.
Those were dark days.
Readers Digest was Malware before the Internet was created.
No, you might have won $10 million dollars if you open this letter, but you haven’t.
I remember now…
