18-year-old Ted Cruz wants to "take over the world" and "be in a teen tit film"

This is terrible, truths such as these should not be exposed!

I suppose I should just reveal all… Ted Cruz was Canada’s lead field agent in our failed bid to take over the world by appearing in teen tit movies.

No way a person who was once a spy for Canada should be able to become President!?

amirite?