Thanks for writing that. Like others said, can’t have been easy.
I have some very small insight into some of what you mention, in that I had a fairly intense episode of Steroid Induced Psychosis ten years ago. No voices or delusions that I was aware of, just a strong desire to hurt people. It was simply horrifying to be myself, quite aware, with my moral compass still functioning, calmly contemplating beating a stranger to death for absolutely no reason at all. One of the longest weeks of my life, but fortunately my memories of that time are sparse and spotty. And much more fortunately, no violence actually got done.
Nothing like a little brain chemistry to shatter the illusions of objective reality and free will, eh?
