A juicer that won't make juice unless the produce is marked with special code [Updated]

There’s some comedy value in imagining the kind of wealthy and lazy fool who’d be sucker enough to buy this, so perhaps look at them as an entertainment company in this respect.

The real damage this does is introducing yet another device that uses the consumer-hostile printer-ink DRM model into early-adapter households. I hope someone figures out a hack that forces them to get rid of it, but it won’t be anyone dull-witted enough to spend money on this device in the first place.

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Juicy weirdness aside if it’s labeled 100% pure Florida orange juice. It’s 100% orange juice. You’re glossing a lot of different issues with juice (and food) together. First is the whole from concentrate thing. Where in the juice has much of its water content removed ( and is often frozen) to allow it to be safely stored. Water is added to return it to juice form. From concentrate juice has to be labeled as such, And it’s still basically 100% juice from whichever fruits are listed on the label. Then there are your 100% juice blends. Which are all juice but a mix of them, concentrate and not. The juice may not contain an appreciable amount of the juice in the name/front label. But everything that’s in there will be listed in the ingredients and it will be marked a blend in some way. Then various juice cocktails and drinks. Which contain a small percentage of juice watered down and sweetened. Again they will be marked as such and the ingredients will be clearly listed. Finally your not from concentrate, non shelf stable 100% juices like refrigerated OJ. Which is apparently held at low temp in airless tanks to extend storage time before packaging. this tends to make the juice suck so some form of flavoring is added to it to make it taste fresh, And keep it consistent with the brand. That wont be called out on the label. Whatever the flavorings are they don’t need to be listed in ingredients. So they wouldn’t be your typical natural and artificial flavors. Likely some derivative of fresh juice intended to brighten up the flat tasting storage juice.

From concentrate juices often suck, blends can be misleading, juice drinks are not juice. And you can find out much of what you need to know by reading the damn label. The bit about the OJ is a little creepy. But in none of these cases (the ones with juice rather than sugar water anyway) am I aware of any reasonable reason to think these things may be worse for you than juice you man squeezed from frightened produce in your own home. And there are plenty of products these days that are clearly intended to *not" be any of these things, or be higher quality by whatever metric you prefer. The biggest knocks on juice in general are high sugar content and that you aren’t consuming all the fiber that used to be in that fruit. These things are true of all juice.

For the record I actually have a juicer and occasionally use it. But because it tastes nice not because there’s something sinister about packaged juice, or magical about really fresh fruit.

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The person who says: “Oh crap, I need to buy person a gift. What the hell do they like…? Juice! I’ll get a juicer! Dammit, which one? Eh, it doesn’t matter as long as it’s expensive enough.”

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With the built in WiFi radio, I can see my ISP shutting me off for improper use of an orange,

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And if the date code is signed using the manufacturer’s private key?

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You mean, like . . . Enema Recipes

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That’s fair - I mean everyone makes a time vs money calculation every time they don’t grind their own beans for coffee or start from raw ingredients anyway. someone may well decide they want fresh fruit and juice it this way just to save time and hassle, more power to them in that case, but I don’t really see how that’s different than those whole-fruit juices you can get in the store, either, unless it’s cheaper (and I’m sure it’s not).

Coffee pods are a great example of this - they’re expensive, but they’re less expensive if you’re a single or dual-person family who likes occasional coffee and doesn’t want to buy preground coffee (because it’ll stale on you before you finish it), and less time consuming than grinding your own bulk beans, while also being cheaper than going to most local coffee shops (and possibly faster depending on how busy it is).

It’s all a time/money tradeoff.

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Want to go extinct? Because that’s how you go extinct.

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You juice it, you brought it.

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I’m no juice expert (I only drink it if it’s fermented or distilled), but I think once pressed, juice deteriorates more quickly than whole fruit. Of course, chopped fruit deteriorates faster than whole fruit, but since the packets are sealed presumably that minimizes that. So if you want to make juice at home, this seems like one the freshest, least messy way to do it.

I don’t really understand the “cold pressed” craze - maybe it’s supposed to keep vitamins less degraded or something. But if you believe that, the local juicer can’t touch that, and compared to supermarket versions this would be fresher and cheaper, as @nungesser pointed out.

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Well yeah, who said anything about sinister? I just think it tastes foul. Whatever they put in pre-made OJ (flavoring and sugar) tastes like shite to me. YMMV.

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Ummm…no

Yeech

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Or someone who is preparing for some deep space colony ship action, yo. Maybe that’s what this is ALL ABOUT. PREPARING US.

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Enzymes, yo. Maximizing the active enzymes, which QUICKLY peace out after juicing from fresh veggies. No bottled juice really can help this, even if it comes from the most organic shit out there. I mean it starts as soon as you make the juice, within a few days, meh.

This is what I learned watching WAY WAY WAAAAAY too many videos on THIS AMAZING MAN’s website:

He puts out some AMAZING juicer review videos, I’m not lying when I say I probably watched 20 hours of his videos at one point. He’s great. Support him. Anyway…

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So far as I know they don’t add sugar if its juice, rather than drink. I don’t actually know what the flavorings are, asside from that they don’t qualify as ingredients for the label.

But yeah most of them taste like shit, especially from concentrate. But a fair lot of the fresh squeezed, highly perishable not processed OJ taste like shit too. I think its down to fruit selection, cause when I do it myself and I’m not careful about what sort of orange I do my squeezing on its pretty crap too. I’ve also noticed a fair bit of the nasty ones have a lot of pith flavor to them. So the fruits likely aren’t handled properly when they gets juiced. And the same thing happens if I leave too much pith on and send them through my electro pulverizing murder juicer.

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Did anyone tell @doctorow so he can use this example in a keynote?

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Now THAT is some vile stuff!

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Won’t that destroy all of those precious nutrients generated by the cold-press process?

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You’re not supposed to make a toothpaste orange juice smoothie…

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