You had me at “hello” “I have a cenver? Because I just stowe must your worms.” (Future romantic movie dialog)
“I don’t know you” - Huh, so people were trying to chat me up, and I never realized it? Their blank stares and stiff posture were really their way of saying, “I want you”?
“You look like a thing and I love you.” - That would totally work on me.
So many easy fixes -
“Are you a camera… because I imagine dust must be a real nightmare for you.”
“Are you a candle? Because… it looks like you’re dripping some wax. Uh, right into my heart.”
“You must be a tringle? 'Cause… you resemble a straight, narrow piece of molding that would fit perfectly between the architectural details of my life.”
“If I had a rose for every time I thought of you… there would be severe glut in the rose supply, causing prices to crash.”
“I have a cenver? Do I? I have no idea what that is.”
Yeah, I’m good at this. Why am I still single?
