I just read a whole lot of corporate fact sheets kindly provided to me by the GOP, so my brain is sufficiently melted to solve this mystery.
See, God (and here I’m talking about the real God, the one in the King James Bible, not your tree worshipping hippy type “god” or the fake Jewish “G-d” or the evil Moslem “Allah” who is actually Satan) loves the American heartland more than anywheres else, because Jesus. And we all know that genetically modified food is the solution to world hunger and nasty insects that nobody likes anyway (except Satan) because Science! Therefore, God has blessed this wheatfield, proving that America is better than anywhere else, and the farmer should fall to his knees, praise Jesus and pay a tithe to the great American way as personified by Monsanto, and we should lower taxes for everybody except the poor, who need more skin in the game. Can anybody give me an amen?
It’s all so simple, people, why don’t you get it? Are you all stinking atheist Democrats or something?
