An IRS scammer called me and I made him mad

I had to re-sign the Master Promissory Note for my student loans recently. The MPN has a lengthy portion discussing how they have they right to call you in order to collect. The reality is that I don’t care how frequently they call in the future (hopefully they won’t have reason to), I’m going to insist everything happen by mail. If it isn’t in writing, I want nothing to do with it.

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Your last name is Lee? L-E-E?
Yes, L-E-E, Lee.
Like Bruce Lee!
Bruce Lee, yes.
Cool! Are you related to Bruce Lee?
No sir. You’re calling me to ask that?
I’m just curious, just trying to have a conversation with you. It’s also a good way to check to make sure you’re not a robot. But anyway, go ahead, this is Serious Business.

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@frauenfelder this is the best thing of the day by far… the music is awesome.

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I used to get these all the time, back in the days when I actually had a landline. I had great fun by:

  1. Speaking at them in other languages
  2. Pretending I was the maid who was cleaning while the master was overseas for 3 months
  3. Putting them on speaker and walking away
  4. Getting really excited and going "oh! Youre one of those scammers! I wanted to write a piece on you! Do you mind if I ask you some questions… Let me find a pen!
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One of my sweeties pointed me towards Nomorobo a while back. It doesn’t quite block 100% of these calls and it only works with some carriers, but it’s cut our spam calls down a lot. (You can even report calls that get through, which helps build their database.) I’m on the free version, which only blocks calls to our VoIP number. I see they’ve added a Smartphone option, but that does have a small monthly cost.

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I rather like the idea that scammers worldwide are looking at Trump and saying to each other, “Hey, you know that scam of yours that I thought was too stupid to work? Let’s do it. Americans will buy into anything…

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Oh, that is beautiful! I’m so glad you shared that.

Of course now I’m concerned about this bee that’s crawling up my arm …

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I cannot understand why this seems to happen very often in the US, but I never heard of a single case of something like this happening in Germany (where I live).

Are there technical or cultural reasons for this?

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I probably would’ve haggled with him: “$8900? How about $10?”

It’d be interesting to see how little he would accept, knowing that it’s all free money to him.

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I used the name “Montgomery Ward Snopes” once with similar scammers.

It’s not even from my favorite Faulkner novel, I just always loved how ridiculous the name was.

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According to this 2012 Microsoft Research article, it’s particularly advantageous for scammers to employ hard-to-believe/too-stupid-to-work scams, because doing so filters out the non-suckers, ensuring a higher proportion of easy prey in the pool of scam respondents: Why do Nigerian scammers say they are from Nigeria?

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These people are the scum of the earth. I work with vulnerable adults (mentally ill, elderly, and/or developmentally disabled. I get so many agitated calls from clients telling me they’re being told they’re going to jail. At least one of the scammers is specifically targeting people on Social Security. One of my clients ended up in the hospital because of these people.
I don’t like messing with most telemarketers because they’re just stuck doing a crappy job, but I love seeing these predators get fucked with.

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You know, sometimes I really wish I could send 40,000 volts at 5 amps down the line and permanently end these scammers.

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Well played Mark. The segment about the officer who was waiting to take you away in a helicopter was pure gold.

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I was thinking about that research the whole time I listened to this recording - so little of what the scammer was doing actually made sense. But there are limits - which may have just shifted due to a perceived increase in American stupidity…

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Nowadays I tell them that if their mother in law knew they were criminals she would ask for her daughter and her dowry back. This has caused outbursts of rage. (I know perfectly well that many of them are as yet unmarried, and that’s part of the insult.)

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This is serious business! - lol

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Maybe I’m being too kind, but I hope the lady didn’t beat the crap out of him for messing up the phone call.

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Brandon, but they still won’t know what you’re on about.

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phone spiders…

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