I’m sorry for your pain. I don’t know that I can offer any words of comfort that will sound like anything other than empty platitudes, but maybe the best take I’ve heard on suicide is that death is the one thing you are absolutely guaranteed in life whether you seek it or not—so there’s no need to rush it.
In the meantime every day you are still here brings the possibility of some new change for the better, some new opportunity to create or receive some kind of peace or love or joy. I hope you are able to keep holding on to those possibilities. You deserve them.
