This hadn’t struck me yet, but I disabled notifications from the TV app, just in case.
Normally I disable notifications from just about every app that doesn’t give me any value, but I must have missed this one (probably because I’ve never launched it, and it lives hidden amongst all the other undeletable Apple crap in my Shovelware folder.)
And yes, there’s a shitty U2 album somewhere in my iCloud library that I also can’t delete. Fortunately, iCloud and the Music app are so user hostile that I almost never encounter it. WTF, Apple? What’s so hard about understanding that your imaginary largesse does nothing but piss thousands of people off?