A gentleman…
1 Is never late, nor is he early; he arrives precisely when he means to
2 Is confident he can fly a helicopter first try
3 Has a bath once a year whether he needs it or not
4 Owns a plain tie, a plaid tie, and a piano tie
5 Took geology in University
6 Once brought a knife to a gunfight just to even the odds
7 Knows the difference between a fedora and trilby but doesn’t care
8 Cries at the end of Charlotte’s Web
9 Kills his own venison, like, with a bow or something
10 Can drive a console-mounted shifter
11 Has twelve fish puns to entertain adults
12 Isn’t scared of clowns but pretends to be, you know, to fit in
13 Can make one heap of all his winnings and risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss, and lose, and start again at his beginnings and never breathe a word about his loss
14 Memorized all five verses of Good King Wenceslas
15 Uses the force for knowledge and defense, never attack
16 Would refuse to wear pastels at gunpoint
17 Tells undoubted Raphaels from Gerard Dows and Zoffanies
18 Always starts swordfights with his off-hand
19 Despises at least two island nations for no real reason
20 Tried reading Ulysses but gave up, Christ, what was all that about
21 Stayed at a Holday Inn Express last night
22 Doesn’t understand the point of lists like this
23 All of the above
24 None of the above
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