Ka-BOOOM!!!
cough cough
“Okay, that goddamned kitty is dead. He’s trying to get me killed, he wants to get me outta the way so he can get the old crew back together and take control of my accounts and buy back the old ship…”
BING!!
“… the hell? Oxygen tanks and a booster? Not too shabby. And what’s this?”
“Oh, yeah, baby. This will come in handy. Maybe even more so if Jones keeps pissing me off.”
Klik-fzzt
“Boss, you out there?”
“Yeah, no thanks to you. Your mission choice just about got me decompressed.”
“Hey, Fred, you knew the job was da–”
“Don’t you Super Chicken me, Felix!”
“Boss, shaddap a minute and listen to me.”
“Why should I? So far you’re just breakin’ my bank and perforatin’ my pressure suit. I’m out here busting my cloaca, and you’re in a clean, dry, warm, unfunded stateroom, getting wholly undeserved belly-rubs from the support crew and basically goldbricking your way across the galaxy. How does any of that help me?”
“High-value salvage, Boss.”
“…”
“Do you read me, Boss?”
“I’m here. High-value?”
“Two opportunities.”
“Hmm. Eel risk?”
“Negligible at this point. Some trigger-happy anguilliphobes are taking care of it.”
“Suckers. Risk?”
“Unsecured cargo. You’re gonna need to patch those venting suit holes and buff your maneuvering jets.”
“Can I afford it?”
“Barely. Leaves you a single sip of juice, which by rights oughta go to me as your agent.”
“Pucker up, Puss. I can still get you frogmarched to the nearest airlock for what you did to Midshipman Plantain there.”
“Get your ass in here, Ass, so I can tape up your ass before it sprays your decompressed innards all over the starboard viewport in the enlisted mess. Believe me, they don’t need any more ass mess down there.”
“Call in the orders. And watch your step. I’ve never crowbarred a Pussy before, but I’m a quick study.”
“Ass.”
“I know I am, but what are you?”
“Pussy, Ass.”
“That’s Ass, Pussy.”
“Puss-Ass.”
“This isn’t as fun as I thought it’d be. Ass out.”
“Puss out.”
Bzzt-klik!
“Cut the chatter, you two. There are professional grownups on this channel.”
“Aw, probe my cloaca, Dispatch.”
@Kassandra SUBMIT
BUY Repairs
BUY Booster_Jet
MISSION 4
END
