Badass Space Dragon - Round 2 - Flapjacks

Pusillanimous Patty	83/100	20	18	17	19	14	$40600	

It seems that Mr. Nixon had a private fundraiser :wink:


I swear to the heavens if nobody helps on this mission that I’ll just run straight for his windscreen with all guns on full.
Hull repairs = $6200 (will I even get these repairs done quick enough to get in the fight?)
Horseshoe = $2000 (one for each foot, sir)
Fish = $500 (this breaks the bank, but if I’m going to be a grease spot on Flapjack Bill’s hull, I plan to stink up the place)
Mission 1: $2000
Whiskey: $??? As much as we can afford. No way we’re going into this one sober. I passed the hat around to the crew for donations.
Total: $10874 (plus whatever the crew threw in for the whiskey when I passed my hat)

Well, I’m all in. I hope I get some backup.


I’ll go with you

My code was apparently so difficult to crack that the GM dealt me the wrong mission and store items! Damn my intelligence!

Ship Name: Ironclad Cochrane

Store: 18x Hull Repairs 	$1800
Store: High Power Laser Array 	$6500
Mission 1  			$2000
Total 			 	$10300

click image to animate and embiggen


Bank error in your favor, collect $30000? I’ll just leave 1/3 of it in this brown envelope, and we’ll say no more, yes? I am not a crook.


Hull Repairs - $1600. Leave a few dents, I’m sure the shiny surface attracts the asteroids, plus the patina adds character, gives the Patty a vintage, artisanal feel.
Deflecto Coating - $3000
Hull Density Adjustment x 1 - $500. Well, dang. Guess I can only afford one.
Night Courses x 1 - $3400
What the hell, give me 11 barrels of the algae, too. $1100

Mission 2 : Wheat - $500, we delivery!

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“If I was any good at math, I’d have been a math teacher, not a smuggler.”

Hull Density Adjustment x5 = $2500
High Power Laser Array x1 = $6500
Deflecto Coating x1 = $3000

Mission 1 = $2000

Total cost = $14000

*Cash remaining = ($15,150 - $14,000 = *$1,150)

Dracarys gets some muscle upgrades. Flapjack Bill appears to have Donny Mondo tied in knots, and Rhaegar knows that sometimes the best approach to a Gordian knot is to rend it in twain. If there’s one thing a guy like Don Mondo appreciates, it’s a problem solver.

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2 Night Courses - 6800
2 points Hull repair – 200
1 Horseshoe – 1000

The chance to single-handedly defeat a Hive Mind with the power of my Sirius Cybernetics off-the-shelf Android Positronic Mesh Brain ™…


Oh, the price of the mission is 2500 Starbucks you say? Well, okay then.

Mission 5 – Hack the planet 2500

Ah, and I need to be infected by…that? Um, okay, but it’ll get removed latter, right?

Total investment: $10500

I spend the remaining 50 s’bucks on strong coffee and a few extra batteries
for my Night Courses. Now, if I can only figure out the internal workings of
this horseshoe to determine the base properties of this “luck” phenomenon.

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Bongo Fury

Mission 2: $500
9 * Sand Fish = $450

Total Cost: $950

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Mission 3 - Sourdough Cakes
The artisan miners need some dynamite cakes so they can do their retro-mining thing. I don’t know why these guys are so opposed to modern technology. I guess they don’t like having thumbs.

Mission Cost: $200 (Fuel, Food and Supplies)
Reward: $10,000, +1 GRIT
Risks: Big BadaBoom, Asteroids
(40-LK)% - Big BadaBoom, lose HP (40-65 HP Based on SH)
50% - Asteroids, lose HP (10-50 based on SH & EN)

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Ship name: Pillar of Autumn

Starting cash: $15150
($2500) Mission 5
($10,200) – Night Courses x 3
($2,000) – Horseshoes x2
($200) – Hull repairs x2
($250) – Bribe
Ending cash: $0

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Ship Name: Zhe Shadow Pacifist

  • Starting cash: $958
  • Mission 2: -$500
  • Ending cash: $458
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No - the mission said $2000 per ship.

Maintaining the balance of interests is always subtle. The Galaxy is so full of possibilities that no one can anticipate all possible disturbances. But the incomprehensible variation of life teaches one clear lesson: self-interested cooperation is the basis of all success.

Flapjack Bill is one those disturbances. A disturbance ripe for the plucking.

None of use can do this alone. The stout Ironclad Cochrane and the The Iron Giant with it’s 24 FP Blasters, have already signed up. If enough agree, this will be the fastest take down since Nicholas Van Rijn and I thwarted the Shenn. Don Mondo will be pleased. More importantly, the bonds of trust and brother/sister/lizard/circuit-hood will build the foundation for greater things.

Let’s not lose sight of the glory, either. El Esk will be drawn to a fight like this, like the Tard-iss to Venusian Malt. You’ll be able to tell your grandchildren you saw the legend herself in action.

I just don’t know which side she’ll be on.


Starting Cash: 10,620
Mission 3 : 220
1 Deflecto Coating : 3,000
4 Hull Density Adjustments : 2,000
1 Encryption Upgrade : 5,200

'Cause I’m a cowboy. On a steel horse I ride. And I’m wanted. Dead or alive.

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Lord Fritz reporting: All hail the Supreme Intelligence. This is my report for the Archive Ministry. Despite Marvin’s misgiving, we managed to beat the odds and complete our first mission with no spoilage. I assigned every Red Shirt available to polish the oranges, reducing the chance for mold to take hold and ruin the cargo. In the future I - HOLY SHIT! PIRATES!!!.. … … Addendum: Despite my Navigational Officer’s assurance that this quadrant was safe, we managed to find the only hostile ship within 4 parsecs. I am not sure to attribute this to what the ugly bags of water refer to as luck, or if LT Fafhrd has been infected with mal-ware. I warned him about visiting those sites.

Ship - Grey Mouser: Starting cash - $15356
Hull Repair: $2800 - Strength through hull integrity, I always say.
Horseshoe: $1000 - While I don’t subscribe to these superstitions, I will admit it really ties the room together.
Encryption Upgrade: $5200 - For a Sneaky class ship, we really aren’t that stealthy. I imagine the datawork for it was lost by the Ship Building Consortium.
Night Courses: $3400 - I got a spacemail offering to increase my penis size while adding to my already massive knowledge of this ship. How could I say no?

Mission 1: $2000 - The Weapons officer is bemoaning the fact that he has barely got to shoot at anything since our launch. A happy crew is essential for a well running ship. I place all blame on what is about to happen on him. Next time we will let the cook decide on the mission.
Ending Cash: $956

If this is our last mission, please download my consciousness into a female form this time. I want free drinks at the bar.


As the old master said across the centuries, “luck happens to the well prepared.” Excellent Preparation, Rhaegar.

That is now three strong ships, and the day is young. A new day is dawning.

Had login problems yesterday, might be way others didn’t get in? Also, can’t open the link for the rules. :frowning:

I.M.V. Flatulent Deity requiressss a short visit to the shipyards; since the blockade run, our crew cabins have been venting more atmosphere than even the most flatulent god would deem prudent in polite ssssociety.

Alsssso, I note that I sssseem to have accumulated some extra Sssstarbucksss out of nowhere. By my lizardly calculation, I should be holding $10,630 instead of $10,930. Ssso I elect to contribute $330 to the Fund to Aid Recidivist Traders’ Kids Needing Other Children’s Cash to Evade Recidivism.

I’ll take 30 HP of Hull repair for $3,000. One Night Course for $3,400. (We Sssspace Lizards value education nearly as highly as our leathery hides and a well-turned-out ovipositor). Two (2) horseshoes, particularly if they come with half a horse. (It’s lunchtime on the Deity.) Two (2) buckets of algae, and the opportunity to join in on Mission #1. The prospect of horseblood has whetted my appetite for vengeance, and Flapjack Bill owes my ssssainted mother’s estate for sssservicess rendered dating back lo these twenty standard years. He liked 'em hefty and enthusiastic, and though I’m a patient lizard, it’s time for me to take Mom’s hide outta his hide.

Starting with $10,930 I’ll deduct $330 to the F.A.R.T.K.N.O.C.C.E.R. charity to correct my beginning balance.
HP: $3,000
Night Course: $3,400
Horseshoes (2): $2,000
Blue Algae (2): $200
Mission 1: $2,000
Balance remaining: $0.00


Lenar Belox swallows his lubricant tears and recalculates for unforeseen circumstances. Then reconsiders having used the word “lubricant”. IRRELEVANT!!!

11 Barrels of Algae - $1100
Deflecto Coating - $3000
Night Courses - $3400
Mission 5 - $2500
Total - $10000

Heute gehen wir “all in”.

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