I’ve had a very different experience. Since the normal response of cancer patients is to feel sadness, depression, why me?, etc., I got a lot of badgering for NOT being that way. At best, some medical staff (and friends) would just look at me quizzically and not say anything. They probably thought I was masking a “super cheerful aspect”, now that I think about it.
One friend of mine, she cries at every single medical appointment. It’s been nearly 5 years now, so she’s just on Tamoxifen and occasional check-ins, but the weight of the reality really hits her whenever she’s in a medical situation. She’s considered normal. She’s supported and provided with lots of tissues and as much time as she needs to process. Back at home, no friend or family member tells her to stop crying and make the best of it. Her experience is what I’ve seen as the norm.
I’ve never seen ANY cancer patient being admonished to cheer up or otherwise improve their outlook. Maybe in individual families, behind closed doors, but it certainly doesn’t seem to be the socially-acceptable way to confront a cancer patient.
