I see a lot of answers being offered you, civilly. He can explain it to you, but he cannot understand it for you.
I wonder some of the same things you do, and it’s kept me out of coding somewhat, but I don’t think it’s because coders are bro’s - but because people who spend lots of time in front of a screen can have awfully atrophied social skills. Either gender, but there are far more male coders.
All cultures have subcultures, and maybe there is a friendlier one of those somewhere within the coding communities being discussed? Surely a place for people who can keep a civil tongue when they’re frustrated is what you’re looking to be part of? Maybe that place is out there?
