I love Mar Adentro (The Sea Inside) on this topic. A lot of films on controversial issues push one side of the argument and don’t portray opposing viewpoints as valid, but this one does very well at showing the complexity that is there:
I think there is something important and even life-affirming in the ability to decide what makes your life worth living and to be alive by free choice, without insisting that everyone else must share your perspective. Insisting that someone should live for the sake of those around them doesn’t seem right to me, although that is not to deny the importance of your life to others. There are certain scenarios in which I would appreciate the opportunity to end my life, although I have no idea what my decision would actually be if faced with that situation. I would like to think that people around me would recognise that I was not rejecting them or denying their importance to me if I didn’t choose continued survival.
On that note, it’s interesting to hear Susan Williams’ comments on her husband’s death. While there is obviously pain, there’s also a recognition that this was a point where Robin Williams felt that he couldn’t continue. I think that is a very commendable perspective. On the other hand, telling people who are suicidal that they are being selfish seems to be looking at the wrong person, when it is often external pressures (school, isolation, financial pressures etc.) that are making them feel that life is not worth living.
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You said that grief is caused by emotional attachments, and that those emotional attachments are selfish. Those were your words, I’m looking at them right now: “The rest of the hurt tends to result from the emotional attachments of others. I argue that such attachments are far more selfish and destructive than when the individual decides to die…”
I am really trying to be civil and sympathetic, because I am autistic and I know what it’s like to be constantly misunderstood. But, Jesus, at least have the courage to own the words that you said. If you really believe that humans not only should but are capable of shedding all emotional attachment, then stick to that and defend it. If you miscommunicated and meant something else, then admit it and clarify yourself. Stop blaming others for believing that your words are an accurate reflections of your intentions.
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The confusion might be that I think of caring and attachment as being distinct, nearly opposite. I think of caring, generosity, compassion all as ways of freeing people. Whereas attachment seems more like a symptom of fear. I don’t doubt that it is possible, even likely, to feel a bit of both.
Sorry if my awkward articulations come off as being bothersome! I try to balance between explaining my views in detail, and not getting so verbose as to derail or detract from the input of others.
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Write tight.* In forums and comment threads, brevity is a virtue. Read lots of good, tight writing, make the effort to practice it, and you’ll eventually intuit how it’s done.
*Yes, I know, this should be an adverb. But it rhymes, which delights my inner five-year old.
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That seems like an odd distinction to make, but I can at least understand what you mean now. Appreciate it.
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