Do you have a 'long stabby thing' next to the bed just in case someone breaks in?

My small barky thing just wants to be friends with everyone, so he’s no good on the attack.
That said, he’s a beagle, so my partner and I will be awake before they get through the door, along with half the neighborhood.

If they still choose to break in, they’ll find themselves in need of emergency dental surgery courtesy of 34 oz of solid northern White Ash.

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