Well I agree but generally people calling you queer are not referring to your odd habits but your homosexuality. Similarly I dont know if I find nigger offensive. Its just that when I have heard white people use the term they were definitely trying to offend me. So as a first approximation the use of such terms is probably offensive.
My own pet irritant is mulatto. I hate that word, partly because it has been applied to me but mostly because it is obviously fucking offensive. I think you need to be a little dim not to see that people of mixed ethnicity might be offended by a term which derives from the word for the sterile offspring of a donkey and a horse. Whenever people use “Mulatto” around me I suggest that I prefer “Quadroon”. Whilst technically it isn’t accurate it definitely gets the point across.
