- Because even when we do finally make our choice to come forward, more assholes are going to use my act to take agency away from any other victims who aren’t ready for that, demanding that they perform against their will.
Guess what guys. When you say “she should have come forward earlier” and “they must come forward?” That first sounds an awful lot like “well she should have fought back” or “she shouldn’t have been drunk”. As for the second statement… Wow. Responding to a person who was forced into something traumatic (yes, sexual assault is traumatic, don’t even try to “but…”) against their will by demanding they do more trauma-inducing things against their will and on your timelines… I shouldn’t have to say what that sounds like.
Oh, and by the way, these are all valid reasons for anyone not wanting to come forward. I have been saying “women” because this victim is a woman, and statistically women are usually the victims. But if they’re not a woman, there are even more reasons, including the fact that there’s even less support (I know… hardly seems possible) if you’re not a cis-woman. Which means that the statistics may be even more screwed up by underreporting in those areas. Don’t ask the victims to fix that. The only way to fix that is to stop making the process a trauma conga-line. Or maybe… Just maybe… We (as a whole society, don’t #notall me) should start respecting people’s autonomy and not assault them in the first place.
