Florida Walmart shopper pleasures himself upon stuffed horse

His gun was clearly unloaded and no longer in his hand at the time of arrest. He presented no risk to the arresting officers as neither were filled with stuffing.

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Whitest looking black guy ever!

(the mug shot of Sean Johnson)

But… As much as it is fun to giggle at the weird story, I can’t help but to feel sorry for a person who is obviously mentally ill enough to consider whacking it in a store with a stuffed horse. Can’t imagine that his future holds a lot of good things in it…

Give the man a unicorn chaser?

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Of the kind that used to live in Second Life? http://alphavilleherald.com/2007/09/afternoon-delig.html

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Ivor Biggun’s relaunch hasn’t gone to plan then? (Link is probably NSFW)

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at least he had the good sense to go to the bedding department, i mean it was either that or the shower supplies or mens socks …am i right…lol.

I like the title of the click through story:

I’m picturing a stuffed horse masturbating side by side next to his new buddy…and turning to him and saying man those mushrooms were good. :slight_smile:

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I see this at the link:

You both need to go somewhere to think long and hard about your behavior here. (snerk)

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Below that picture is this text

Mug Shots: People accused of crazy crimes
Kendall Williams, 19, is accused of stealing a tour bus, picking up passengers and driving them around Nashville. He was found asleep behind the wheel, an empty beer bottle nearby. Jail booking photo

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It’s probably not a unique experience. After all: Florida + WalMart.

If Florida is the Walmart of the United states, and Walmart is the Florida of stores, does the mea…WORMHOLE

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Wait, where the hell is this story?!? This sounds like an AMAZING story! Anyway, I’m pretty sure I played this mission in one of the old GTA games…

Probably Florida.

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It was “interesting” scrolling through those mug shots…
I see that the sensational bath-salts-eating-face guy from a while back is in good company:

Authorities say Brent A Taylor, 29, bit off the tip of his girlfriend's nose Authorities say Jessica Rocha of Oregon, broke into a home & bit a woman on the face, telling her victim she was playing the "Zombie Game".
And this feller who seems to be very BB and extremely not BB:
Joseph Smolinsky is charged with domestic battery and resisting arrest without violence after sheriff's deputies say he assaulted his live-in girlfriend with a banana.
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How do you even?

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Unfortunately, I have run out of <3’s again today. I had completely forgotten about that skit. :wink:

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I’ll show you later!

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You’ll need to rail against Boing Boing’s editors, for it is they who invented the unicorn chaser and posted links to evidence of unwanted unicorn procreation. We’re merely joining the dots … :stuck_out_tongue: :wink:

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