Follow us on Facebook or the cat in this GIF gets it

It’s a Jazz Cat. The cat gets it whether I follow someone on Facebook or not.

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Good thing I kept my copy of 101 uses for a dead cat.

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I already look at the site, okay, the BBS, anyway. What would be the point of following you on Facebook, or Twitter?

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What is it with Boing Boing’s endless and ever more desperate sounding “please follow us” on this or that horribly invasive social media platform? Its like every other story, several times a day, please please please follow us! Honestly, I’ve dealt with junkies that were less demanding.

No, ok?

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Hi, I am a very successful social marketing guru who specialises in helping old new media properties retain and grow value in an increasngly competitive post-new media landscape. While I applaud your repeated innovative and intrusive attempts to extract the most value out of your eyeballs, in partnership with the key commercial surveillance providers, I believe that I can help you take that next step across what I call the Internet Commercial Kudos (ICK) threshold.

The problem is that you have a lot of low-value content consumers (or “readers”, if you want to get all “steampunk”) who aren’t in the affluent, vacuous, merch-consuming demographic (or “makers”, in your inspired newspeak), and although you’re certainly irritating them through advertorial content, outsourcing comments to Discourse, incessant hectoring to leave the open web and join parasitic data silos, you’re not quite completely alienating them. This is a problem if you want to provide a high-purity product.

Please don’t think I’m being disparaging. You’re close. You’re very, very close. With the asistance I can provide, I believe we can turn your audience into a much more attractive commodity for the eyeball-consuming market, and their partners in the international intelligence community. When you’re ready to take, the next step, just “like” me on Facebook.

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I’d say the cat was dead when the film was made. It looks like a taxidermy puppet to me.

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Sigh… The plethora of pointless cat pictures are bad enough, but now they’re animated and why? For the sole purpose of begging people to waste more time on facebook? For what? To talk about cat pictures?

I’m sorry, but the cat pictures are really depressingly awful. Xeni, you are an intelligent creative person, you can do better…

The welcome message when I signed just now asked “Does your reply improve the conversation in some way?” Yes, if it reduces the number of non-sequiturs on Boing Boing then the conversation will improve dramatically.

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‘Facebook? Too mainstream.’

  • the unknown hipster, ca. 2012

Seriously, though - I spend too much time on BoingBoing already. Time well spent, bit still.
I’ll just pretend this topic was never posted, okay?

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Facebook’s fancy metrics getting y’all in a tizzy? Next ‘group meeting’ Xeni please stand up and repeat a BB hunch from a few years back: meh. The generalized ‘Follow us on Twitter/Like us on Facebook’ request is already a dead cat.
http://dashburst.com/facebook-business-page-fail/

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I demand more non-sequiturs!

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Interesting read, thanks!

That…is mildly terrifying. Is he chasing James May, forever?


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same one that stuffed this one and put it on a tv show about a teenage witch.

Thanks for the offer Xeni, but I have never used Facedook nor wish too. There are not enough cat pictures on the internet , yet.

No.

(A post has to be at least six characters long? Really? Good grief.)

Facebook?

/checks site URL

This is the site where Cory Doctorow blogs about digital rights, correct?

How about this: I promise to click on a thoughtful, relevant sponsor link once per week, if you promise never to mention Facebook again–except in the context of horror and derision.

Deal?

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