I’d put it in victory, but now I have nothing to look forward to after every task. I no longer have a self-administered reward for doing pretty much anything. And it’s bullcrap to say something like “a mowed lawn is its own reward.” It’s not like I use it for anything other than to stand and smoke on.
Thank you for the encouragement. I need it.
Yeah. I know that feeling. And find something, cause that’ll help. It don’t matter what, whatever works as a self-reward. Bag of lollies, bottle of beer, Lego set, scented candle, whatever. Something you like but don’t need. Gamify the hell outta the fucker.
Yeah, that’s the sort of lie that you tell yourself to feel better. A mowed lawn is one that needs concreting and painting green, unless you want to mow the bastard again in 3 weeks.
Paying a little back. We all support each other. 
Again, thank you.
It was an approximate translation of Kindertheater – I guess children’s theatre would also work, but it was essentially the same as pantomime with a comedic retelling of a fairy tale. I think it’s supposed have something to do with Carnaval, which will be starting next week in Germany with the Women’s Carnival Day (Weiberfastnacht) in Cologne. Putting the Lent back in Valentine’s Day.
Way to go, you can do it. My dad did it on a Navy ship surrounded by people smoking all the darn time. Just saying that so you know it’s possible. What helped him was chewing Sean Spicer levels of chewing gum.
I already have a hypertrophic mandible from night grinding. Pretty sure gum would make it go supercritical. Or look like something from HydraulicPressChannel.
It was an approximate translation of Kindertheater – I guess children’s theatre would also work, but it was essentially the same as pantomime with a comedic retelling of a fairy tale. I think it’s supposed have something to do with Carnaval, which will be starting next week in Germany with the Women’s Carnival Day (Weiberfastnacht) in Cologne. Putting the Lent back in Valentine’s Day.
Yeah. That’s less adorably British. Are you Canadian?
I’m Irish/British, but I live in Germany. I’d like to be more involved with German culture, but TBH most of the time I’m at home and speaking English. I like the services they have for kids here though.
Never mention the war?
Edit: this day is hard. I’m being a drunken dick. See you in the Lounge.
Best of luck.
That sounds like an opportunity to find a new reward, from here.
And I understand that it helps to remember that both the chemical and psychological addiction effects are at their absolute worst right now. This is the worst it is and it gets better from here.
Also a hearty well done and good for you, from me.
Is that the view from your office window? Because, hey, that’s a win!
nah, I see this beauty
that is if I would actually stand up, walk a few meters, plague my colleague at the window-side desk and look out
I hope that today is easier than yesterday. And tomorrow is easier still.
But, I’ve been down this road and I know that every day is hard for like 6 weeks. Or at least for me, it was 6 very tough weeks, then it got easier.
So, hang in there, because you are doing something good for yourself. One of these days, you will have a day when you don’t think about smoking even once, and it will be weird. But it will be a victory. I hope you get there.
A three storey block of flats was blown up in Oxford on Wednesday.
(Giving you a like for linking the article.)
It’s 3:38 a.m., I have to be up and functional at 7:10 a.m. No, FUCK YOU, brain.
I don’t know how you work, but if it were me, I’d just go around the horn, and spend some time quietly meditating.
I hope you do okay. Good luck friend.
I guess it’s a bit unfair for me though. I can take a couple of provigil and take a 30 minute nap then be functional for the rest of the day and feel like I’ve had a good night’s sleep.
It’s a freaking wonder drug.
But in any case, I’m rooting for you.
I don’t feel like I’ve been a good friend to anyone. Too much going on in my life seems wrong yet, emotional abuse to one side, I live a hell of a lot more comfortable than a lot of people. I have no resources to help anyone with. I feel like I have barely any commonality with the groups I feel least uncomfortable around… and yet at the same time those same groups piss me the fuck off because I always feel like an outsider for how fucking cliquish they are.
Plus there’s the fact ‘oh you can’t dump eight hours a day with a $1500 brand new box into gaming? You can’t go to cons year long? You can’t do anything to join in can you pfft you’re a casual.’ or my inability to actually schedule because my EVERYTHING depends on other people who themselves either don’t know, don’t plan, or don’t care that I feel constantly off balance because I can’t get into a kind of rhythm where beyond gross generalities that themselves are subject to change, I can’t go ‘oh I have x chunk of time I can do this in.’ so instead when like know I have a bigass chunk of time like right now I mostly just want to fucking sleep because why bother?
I feel like either an outsider or a ghost.
So yea. Only thing keeping me going is stubbornness rather than any hope it’ll get better, because I fall in so many cracks between ‘can do’ and ‘can get help’ and anyone that CAN help either themselves are in a world of shit they need help digging out of, or handwring endlessly.
Thanks, I made it! Had to get some sleep even if it was only two hours; quietly meditating sounds wonderful, but young children have no respect for such things. I did the "around the horn’ three times last month and it hurt. Adderall has pulled me through before but I’m not a very considerate person (read: grouchy bastard) coming off it so that’s out when I’ve got human interaction the next day.
Now, to just work out these anxiety issues that have plagued me the last thirty years…
