🍅 Hate the Chef, love the Condiments 🌭


I am sooo hungry right now, I want a hot dog. Onions, tomatoes, mustard and ketchup.


I am fucking printing this out, framing it, and hanging it on my wall.


I like the cut of your jib.
Granted, the Holy Brat should not even be included with these lesser tubes-o-meat.


Okay, now I’m going for the gold medal of heresy.

This is my lunch today:

Om nom nom…


is that a Chopped Cheese?


Philly cheese steak, with hot peppers.


:game_die: Would You LIKE to Play a Game? :video_game:

Walnuts are an abomination.


You shut your potty mouth.


To quote my mom:

“You don’t know what’s good.”




Rancid walnuts are an abomination. Though I’ll grant you that their skins are more tannic and bitter than that of pecans.

When it comes to nuts (true and pseudo): the higher the proportion of polyunsaturated fat, the faster it goes rancid. Walnuts are highest in such fats, which is why they get such a bum rep.


To each their own. Or as my grandfather used to say, “That’s why they make chocolate and vanilla.”


Why did they make strawberry?


I tease my kid for eating hot dogs with ketchup. My kid doesn’t even have good taste in ketchup, either! It’s syrupy sweet commercial tomato ketchup.

I don’t usually eat hot dogs, but when I do I like them with mustard, onions, and hot peppers.

My main grievance with hot dogs is that the buns are almost universally horrid. None of the store-bought varieties are made anything close to being decent bread. They are always spongy, soft, and flavorless - like “Wonder Bread” that instantly turns into paste on the roof of one’s mouth. What we need instead is something more like a hot dog bun sized baguette. Does anybody make these? I have made a mental note to try making something like this if I know I will be eating hot dogs.


All I know is Neapolitan was made for people like me who have many tastes.


Like a hoagie roll? Cut the end off, scoop in innards out, fill with ketchup, onions, mustard and slide the dog right into it, sort of thing.

:game_die: Would You LIKE to Play a Game? :video_game:

The problem with that is, it’s hard to get the texture right. Your basic hot dog (even the expensive ones) doesn’t have a lot of texture or mouth-feel to it, so if you make what should be a real good bun, it overwhelms the hot dog.

I’ve switched to Nature’s Own brand of whole wheat hot dog buns when we eat hot dogs at home. At least there’s some fiber, though we’re not exactly talking about nutritious and healthy meals here.


I had the right sort of things years ago in Czechoslovakia (which shows how long ago it was!)
White roll, lightly crusty, impaled on a disturbingly phallic spike. Mustard inside, dunk the dog in more mustard, slide into the bun, top with a squirt of more mustard.

Now I think of it, it was more like a bready cup of mustard, with traces of hotdog. Awesome with a beer.


You fucking philistine, make up your mind! Neapolitan is an abomination, why don’t you just cover your ice cream with hot dogs, ketchup, and ranch.

All y’all have greatly disappointed me today.


Ya know, that would be an interesting combination of tastes…