That I think is an inevitable result of any society coordinating what is arguably a human need upon the basis of obscure rituals. Not unlike needing to dance for food, but you are fed only if you get the dance “right”. When people aren’t very conscious of the social protocols they are socialized to, they are in a poor position to explain the purposes or procedures to outsiders. So those people then need to guess, and often guess incorrectly.
I have heard many self-professed men and women alike explain, even as they on the one hand complain about rape culture, that people who don’t “hook up” tend to be passive, lacking in a necessary degree of sexual assertiveness. They are encouraged to be more assertive! Yet this assertiveness would need to manifest itself in very specific ways to not be imposing or creepy. Considering this, I think that MRA activity is sad, but not surprising. To most people, friendship and sexuality are literally based upon social game-playing, but since the players prefer for it to be unconscious, attempts to codify the games tend to be considered crude.
There are other problems which underlie these. Why should one’s identity or confidence depend upon being validated by a sexual partner? Why do people use instinctive mating routines for sex if they are doing it for social or pleasure reasons instead of reproduction? Why not sublimate libidinous drives into more practical activities? If you dislike social games and role-playing, then why even bother codifying them instead of suggesting a better system? Much of this I would think would be alleviated by people asking themselves some fundamental questions about why they feel compelled towards friendship, solitude, dating, sexual relationships, etc.
Again, like in other areas of life, I find that the more basic and fundamental the questions are, the less likely that a person has made the time and effort to really think about them. Which I think are unfortunate consequences of living in a largely compulsive, coercive culture.
