The above interpretation of what I wrote is not at all what I intended.
The mindset of my initial post was to try and describe my perception that over-moralizing – for example, trying to get society to be aghast at the showing of a blurry shadowy nipple – is the work of a small percentage of the population in the US, not a majority. I qualified the statement as simply my own (which is what I meant by including the word “anecdotally”), and in that confine it is eminently true: I can accurately say that of the people I know or have any association with, their reactions to the situation described (the publication against the subject’s will of a compromising picture) would be sympathy for the person in the picture, and repugnance toward the instigator.
I don’t know if that makes me an expert on society, but it is in no way an attack on her. I thought, if anything, it was a note of hope. My “ugh” at the end was an acknowledgement of how crummy it is that there are people in the world foul enough to try to cause the kind of trouble she experienced.
It’s fine for people to disagree with my point if they like. It’s even fine for them to ask questions about it. But marilove, who is clearly a barrel of laughs, came out guns blazing, assuming I was saying something like – I’m not even clear on this, so I’m guessing – women should shut up, and women who want this changed are the shrill minority I was talking about? I really don’t know what she was saying, but she was incredibly hostile, that was unmistakable.
And wow. I thought I was on her side. But she seems to require that I not only acknowledge how terrible her situation is in whatever depths she dictates, but that I prove that I’m incensed, in all the same ways and degrees that she is, about just how shitty society at large is.
Well no thanks. Not only do I not happen to agree, but I can do without the meltdown. She can take her I’m-gonna-explode-in-your-face act and go do it on a streetcorner, where she can get applauded by the winos. For my part, I’m going to do my best to continue believing that most people aren’t so wound up by a nipple that they’ll go on a witchhunt… hey, believing that is my prerogative. If believing that makes me the object of someone’s hate, I suppose I have to live with that.
(which if you think about it, is kind of a gender-loaded term – who are considered shrill? Men? No, mostly women, right?)
I wouldn’t know, but it was not my intent. You’re a more even-keeled writer than she is, but you apparently share by degrees her unfortunate inclination to assume negative interpretations. Ok, so you weren’t “encouraging” me; fine, message received. Don’t give up the tiniest begrudging admittance that I might actually be a fine upstanding person who loves and supports women and reviles oppression of all kinds. Stay angry! And the angry shall shame the rest of the world into thinking the Right Things, and then we’ll all be happy.
