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I understand what you mean about listening. Allies shouldn’t steamroller ahead and pretend they know what’s best for people who aren’t like them. I got it, I know it well.
I don’t disagree with anything you’ve said. My personal experience just leaves me a little leery of trying my best and then having people turn on me anyway.
I get this, and have seen a similar video made by an English lady in response to the overt racism that increased following Brexit. It’s a good thing to remind people who aren’t targeted about how they can help.
That said, I’m for much more overt confrontation personally. Obviously you have to assess the situation for safety, but sometimes I think the best thing to do is just call the MF out for his/her outrageous behaviour in a very public way to make it clear that it is NOT acceptable. I’ve found this also deflects attention away from the victim.
Clearly you have to be comfortable with the likely possibility of an ugly public confrontation, but I’m from NY and that doesn’t really phaze me.
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That’s the thing, (I think) I’m horrible at confrontation. I think deeply but not quickly. Voice starts shaking etc. Then 2 or 3 days later, I’ll finally realize “damn it, THAT’s what I should’ve told the fucker!”
I’d love to step up and do what’s right but I don’t think I’d be doing anyone any favors (except maybe the aggressor).
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I really want some of those. I guess I have peni envy.
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You have to try to do your best for yourself, regardless to how anyone else may react to your efforts.
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I would add that you can see this in action in this video: of a social experiment in Hamilton, Ontario (that’s in Canada).
A bunch of students wanted to see what the response would be to overt Islamophobia at a bus stop. What ensues probably captures both sides of Canadian culture, the multicultural tolerance AND the hosers…
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When I was growing up, they called these things “acting like a gentleman”. Which pretty much meant being polite and helpful all of the time.
And always stand up for anyone being bullied. Even if the bully’s wrath gets turned on you.
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Just remember (and we all would do well to remember this, I think) we can ONLY control our actions, not those of others. Just do what you know to be the right thing and try not to let the world get you down when it doesn’t deliver what we hope. I promise you, we’ve all been there. It’s a part of the human condition and we can all empathize.
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I have done it, and when I was younger people have done it for me.
Sort of. I’d say that the conflict is one-sided, and mostly exists in the harasser’s mind. So introducing oneself into the situation can break whatever feedback loop that person is caught up in. In their mind, they model a simplistic problem and a resolution which they act out. Their fantasy gets interrupted by the unexpected, what wasn’t part of their model.
Another perspective is that besides instilling shame (which is certainly possible) is that it teaches by example better ways of interacting with people and solving problems.
Of course, awareness is key. But I am more likely to look for help from those around me than call the police. Because unfortunately they have earned a reputation for not handling racial/ethnic violence well. There is no way to know if they will de-escalate the harasser or agree that the victim appears guilty of existing while black, or some similar situation.
This might not teach the aggressor a deep moral framework, but it can be more positive and proactive. It causes them to re-think what they are doing, whereas confronting them with something like “Hey Jerkface, you don’t have any right to be a bigot to them!” will likely result in them reflexively doubling down, even if only internally.
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Howdy, I registered an account for the first time just to let you know that this story has been debunked. It appears to be yet another hoax hate crime:
The police have denied they were involved and she has now pulled the story off her facebook page and is not returning any reporters attempts to contact her…
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Hello, and welcome to Boing Boing.
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I was wondering if you’d mind letting me know what drugs you’re on, because I need to make a note to avoid those ones.
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There’s plenty of that in Ingerland. But I suspect that’s not what they mean.
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Sure. But with a christian fundie dominionist as veep, I’m sure christian sharia is a big priority for him.
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I see you’re new here. Welcome to Boing Boing. Please check the FAQ/TOS and please try to not violate community standards in the future. It’s important.
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You got nothing interesting to say so far.
Are you sure you even want to be here? Try participating in good faith.
Also, it’s really funny that you think I “came at you” when you’re the one who appears to have signed up solely to blow dogwhistles here.
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That’s pretty funny. Since the rule of the land is US as a secular country, does that mean that Christians who complain about that fact are failing to understand their bible? Or do you think they are trying to lawyer the word of their god into meaning something else that they like better?
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You’ll have to explain that one. We can decide as a community whether or not you are welcome to post dogwhistles here.
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