I found a locked safe hidden at the back of a closet in my new house

Spoiler: Rob keeps the turkeys in suspense. He spends the dollar on a small troll doll at Dollar World.

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Should someone make a thread about it?

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Is Rob secretly colluding with Gabe Newell to keep us in suspense forever? Is HL3 stashed in the safe?

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from here

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He lives!

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Phone call this morning:

“Bob’s Lock Shop, how may I help you? … Rob Beschizaa?..[types name into database search]…Yeah, well, uhm, you know, we’d love to help you out with that…[query result: SSSS]…but, it’s, winter - lots of door swellage. Really busy. Wish I could help…When? Well, soon it will be warm, then it’s frame shrinkage season. Sorry…”

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(or this, if you’re feeling more AESTHETIC):

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What if it’s just a bunch of gum-bands inside?

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Maybe there will be a trove of valuable, collectable Bazooka Joe Comics that can be sent in for amazing prizes.

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“Mexico’s going to pay to open the safe.”

a few weeks pass

“Mexico’s going to pay us back to open the safe.”

a few months pass

“Safe?!? What safe? Oh that? The safe was just a metaphor.”

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“I had it deported. I have tremendous respect for safes - tremendous - I have lots of them, the best safes. Everybody loves my safes. I told this safe to open. It didn’t open. It’s a bad safe. Now it’s gone. That’s a lesson, people. A lesson.”

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He said he’d open it by the end of next week last month. But then a few weeks ago it should’ve been open this last week… and this week now it’s this weekend… I need some paper, a pen and a mayan calendar…

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“… and some, I assume, are open safes.”

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Rob’s safe should keep its door shut. It is the opposition safe.

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The safe is closed. GET OVER IT ALREADY!

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