Spoiler: Rob keeps the turkeys in suspense. He spends the dollar on a small troll doll at Dollar World.
Should someone make a thread about it?
Is Rob secretly colluding with Gabe Newell to keep us in suspense forever? Is HL3 stashed in the safe?
He lives!
Phone call this morning:
“Bob’s Lock Shop, how may I help you? … Rob Beschizaa?..[types name into database search]…Yeah, well, uhm, you know, we’d love to help you out with that…[query result: SSSS]…but, it’s, winter - lots of door swellage. Really busy. Wish I could help…When? Well, soon it will be warm, then it’s frame shrinkage season. Sorry…”
(or this, if you’re feeling more AESTHETIC):
What if it’s just a bunch of gum-bands inside?
Maybe there will be a trove of valuable, collectable Bazooka Joe Comics that can be sent in for amazing prizes.
“Mexico’s going to pay to open the safe.”
a few weeks pass
“Mexico’s going to pay us back to open the safe.”
a few months pass
“Safe?!? What safe? Oh that? The safe was just a metaphor.”
“I had it deported. I have tremendous respect for safes - tremendous - I have lots of them, the best safes. Everybody loves my safes. I told this safe to open. It didn’t open. It’s a bad safe. Now it’s gone. That’s a lesson, people. A lesson.”
He said he’d open it by the end of next week last month. But then a few weeks ago it should’ve been open this last week… and this week now it’s this weekend… I need some paper, a pen and a mayan calendar…
“… and some, I assume, are open safes.”
Rob’s safe should keep its door shut. It is the opposition safe.
The safe is closed. GET OVER IT ALREADY!