How do you know that your writing will never have an audience? Why does it matter so much whether other people like what you write out not? I mean, not that many people get to exercise complete artistic freedom and get paid well for it. Those who do are often writing for themselves rather than the audience, and this is part of the appeal. If you practise, you probably will get better and focusing on your happiness will make your writing more authentic and rewarding for you (whatever anyone else thinks). Otherwise you could be as successful as Cory and still hate your writing.
As for the second question, isn’t this just a kind of existentialism (correct me if I’m wrong, I’m not a philosopher). We’re all going to die and our efforts are generally insignificant beyond a small patch of space and time anyway, but this doesn’t change the fact that they matter and so do we. If this is your passion and you have the time to pursue it, go ahead. A bit of self love can be good for you.
