I ask this in all honesty and respect: why do we have to quantify, classify and generalize human sexuality in the first place?
Numbers are nice, sure, and I suppose there’s some comfort in trying to figure out why people act the way they do. But I’m not comfortable with statements like “men are more/less {x} than women”-- especially when it’s about something so messy and inherently personal as attraction and desire.
If you look at one person’s life over the course of time, sex drive can wax and wane, from a desperate need for companionship to “naw, I don’t have the time or patience to date anybody right now.” So if attraction can’t be defined as a constant for one person, how can it possibly be defined as a constant for an entire gender??
Moreover, doesn’t the attempt to quantify some degree of “normal” and “outlier” convey some form of judgment on anyone who doesn’t fit the average? Why would we want or need to do that?
Generalizing on sex and/or gender just doesn’t sit right with me. To assume “men want sex more than women because biology” feels awfully close to the same kind of stereotyping that incels use when they condemn women-- or better yet, the way PUAs think they can use “one sure trick” to manipulate their prey into their beds. There’s plenty of responses above mine that point out how they had more enjoyable and successful relationships when they got to know people as individuals, not some sample of a monolithic gender ideal. Given that, why should we be so concerned about defining humans with numbers? Why can’t we just appreciate people as they are?
