It would cost more than $10k for a pro sports photographer to switch camera brands

I have a working Argus. My father and sister used it all over the world between 1950 and 1985, and it still takes perfect pictures if you can afford the film.

This camera is awesome yet ridiculously impractical when compared to nearly any cheap android phone, it would require a custom-machined adapter if you wanted to use fancy lenses, and personally I know practically nothing about photography and can barely operate the light meter. Therefore, I have out-hipster-camera-snobbed you all! I win!