Happens. Wasn’t even that bad, got way worse.
Heavily implied. Usually not even getting into the point where it could be called a relationship. Usually it ends up with something along the lines of “you’re nice and now go away”. Sometimes sweetened with “you’ll make somebody happy one day”. Later spiced up with a wedding invitation (to be sorta appreciated but declined due to self-preservation, such day is better spent with some C code and some Irish Cream).
There is only so much that can be done with no ability t read faces and nonverbal comm and even recognize people (without meeting them for quite many times) with any sort of meaningful accuracy, lousy physical capabilities, shared-interest groups that are male-only, next to nothing in common to bond over elsewhere (even less so since I started to refuse to repair computers for free and to do analysis/consultation job on relationship trouble, sorry I won’t listen to your boyfriend trouble anymore, it is painful to advise on that and double so to “share the happiness”, pro tip is to stop before it drives you to antidepressants, guess how I know), and low ability (and increasingly an unwillingness to fake, takes effort and doesn’t work anyway) to play confidence where I have none (it’s a bad thing for an engineer anyway, you have to move carefully and if you get too self-confident it’s the mark that The Physics is about to bite you).
Small handful of cases where I got beyond zero, usually with some third-party help. Only to lose to a competition, sometimes annoyingly weak one. Then got wedding photos. Nice, but, ouchie.
Meanwhile the friends one got to tag along with settle down and get families and children and demanding jobs and don’t have any time anymore. At least I don’t have Facebook to have to see the details.
A quarter century of this will wear one down.
Oh well. Oh fucking well.
Have to sleep. Rocket science to do tomorrow.
