“I’m straight-up interested in Mastodon now there’s a desktop option that doesn’t mean using a hinky website with broken unicode-box icons everywhere.”
Not sure how genuine this is or if it’s a bit, but Get an app for Mastodon - Mastodon lists 15 clients for “desktop” (not immediately clear which OS(s) each supports) and another 9 replacement web front ends.
(Please avoid the “official” apps for iOS and Android listed at the top of the page, they’re garbage and lack essential features. The API is fully open and the only thing special about the “official” apps is that the masto dev endorses them, which everybody in the community agrees was a bad idea to roll his own incomplete solution when so many better options have existed for years.)