Math theorem: the most misshapen ham sandwich can always be cut into two perfect halves

Meh. Come back when they prove that the Banach-Tarski paradox applies to ham sandwiches, such that you can cut the sandwich into an infinite number of pieces, put them back together, and end up with two ham sandwiches that are identical to the original. That would be impressive, especially if each new sandwich had half the calories of the old one.

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