I think you’re attributing too much control to the victim. You keep calling suicide a choice. I guess if you take things to their rational limits, it is. The problem is that extremely depressed people are emotionally out of control, and desperate, so the choice isn’t rational. Scorning suicide victims as inconsiderate of others’ needs is appalling.
Here’s an analogy:
The rational response to your clothes catching fire is to roll on the ground to put it out. In reality many people panic and choose to run, fanning the flames and burning themselves. Then their families face the grief of having a scarred loved one. Would you care to call the burned person selfish because they should have acted rationally, and saved their families so much sadness? Or would you sympathize and call them a victim?
