Your personal experiences are valid and worthy of empathy and consideration. I’m sorry to hear that your kids have gotten death threats because they’re white and/or black. I could also tell you stories about how I and people I care about have been discriminated against for being white, and how it hurt them or made them feel bad.
The reason I don’t do that is because although I care about my own experiences, I also care about society at large. You may feel it’s callous, but I try not to regard your experiences too heavily because I know from both study and direct experience that there are many other people dealing with race-related problems, and I care about them too. The thing is: almost all of those people are not white.
There’s a much bigger race-related problem in our society than discrimination against white people, and I want to make sure that it gets the focus that it needs. I don’t want to inadvertently confuse the issue and give the impression that preventing discrimination against white people should be a social priority.
It would be nice if I didn’t have to worry about that. It would be nice if I could complain about how sometimes it’s annoying to be judged based on my white skin, and have faith that everyone still realizes and agrees that the major social priority is ending the widespread and systematic marginalization of black and brown people. But that’s not how the world works, unfortunately. While it might not be fair or make much sense (and might sometimes make one viscerally angry!), the right thing to do is to complain less and empathize more.
